my husbands 11 yr old niece is staying with us right now because her grandma is sick right now and her grandma and granpa are raising her. they have had her since birth. She is always starting arguments with my husband I mean she'll scream at him and get attitudes with him for no reason. and she just don't do anything I tell her to do. and I have 3 kids of my own a 5, 3, and 9 month old. I don't want her to make them think they can act like that what would you guys do about this?
I'd sit her down and talk to her. It could be very possible that her grandma being sick is making her feel very upset, scared or hurt (depending on how sick her grandma is). She could also be upset that she has had to leave her normal home. A lot of people don't know how to deal with those feelings, and it can cause them to freak out at the smallest things to people who really haven't done anything wrong. Perhaps it's that, or maybe it's something else. I do, however, think that you should try to get to the bottom of it.
So, in all, sit her down when the two of you are alone. If you can't find the time to be alone in your house, ask your husband if he can watch the kids while you take her for a drive or a walk. Mention to her that you've been noticing that she's been very upset lately, then go from there. When you talk to her, try to use I statements a lot. (I notice, I think, I feel, etc.) Avoid saying You as much as possible. This way she will feel like you're NOT blaming her for everything, which could help her to open up more. If she's not in for talking, let her know that you're there for her any time if she decides to change her mind and let her know that you care. This can help her to feel a lot less alone, especially since she's in a setting right now that she's NOT used to.
If all else fails, I think that it is be necessary to let her know that this behavior is NOT acceptable and will not be tolerated. In the end of it all, she really does need to respect you, your husband, you children and all of your house rules. Hopefully, though, you can work on it with her before any of this.
Take care.
yeah she obviously has some kind of emotional problem. probably because she dosent have parents (that I know of lol) but yeah it must be hard being raised by grandparents. she would around this age be starting to ask the questions like 'why dont I have parents' 'who loves me' etc and is probably coping with this through shutting everybody out and rejecting love. your husband is probably a close family member to her and she knows he loves her but she cant cope/understand love so she shuts it out and rejects it by acting rude and playing up.
you need to nip this in the bud before she is a teenager because it will only get worse.
You should handle this firmly. Children usually act like this because they're bored. You should give her a list of chores eveyday that she doesn't go to school to keep her busy. If she starts an argument, you should say, "You don't act like that" If she doesn't listen to you, you tell her she's not allowed to use the telephone, go shopping, see her friends, watch TV, or use the computer. Then, she won't underestimate and disrespect you. I hope this helped!!!
Rules and boundaries. All kids need them, whether they like them or not. Figure out punishment for bad behavior and reward good behavior. Also, dont assume punishment for one kid is the same as punishment for another kid. To some kids being yelled at is actually a reward because it means they're getting attention...
tell her that she needs to control her self. make her understand that she's just a guest in your house and needs to follow rules. but then again maybe she has a reason for acting like that...try talking to her and asking her whats wrong.
she has no reason for it she is a plain out evil kids like dameon from the omen and under no circumstances in my house does a child back talk and disrepect adults!!!
Have you tried counseling, or an honest heart-toheart talk(a nice talk)? If the latter doesn't work, try a counseler. She might have a condition.
puch her in the face
