How can you tell if your kid is getting high?

Hi- I joined this site 'because I'd like advice from teenagers on this subject. -- My son is almost 15, just entering 10th grade. Shy kid, smart and quiet.. was getting good grades until last year, but did straighten up his act after he got in big trouble for his first report card - ended up getting at least a C average (was always on honor role in jr high), so he passed. Lately, he's been hanging out, skateboarding all around town- gone for hours at a time. He has these friends that all look like stoners- long hair, always wearing black clothers - I try not to judge a book by its cover, but when I was a kid all the kids that LOOKED like stoners WERE stoners! A couple days ago he went out to buy some school clothes and they were all black tshirts with skulls and stuff- InsaneClownPosse, LambofGod, etc- you get the picture. What is ironic is that when I was his age I was a hardcore punk and was into Black Flag, CircleJerks, etc and yes I did get high and drunk whatever - I know I turned out OK, but it'd kill me if my son was doing the same thing. Our circumstances are much different-- I grew up with an alcoholic mother that really didn't care, my husand and I have worked hard to provide my son with a comfortable, stable 2 parent household and we really do care. --- So what do you think? - What are teenagers like these day, lol? Should I be concerned just because of a few tshirts, or what? -- And, if your parents gave you a drug test, what would you think? And if we do and it's positive, what is the best approach then? Be honest- please! Thanks!

109 answers

Recent Questions Kids  Add Answer


ANSWER #1 of 109

I disagree with everyone who is saying that your style means wheither or not you're doing drugs.
some of the preppyiest people I have ever met were huge stoners. don't be worried just because he is changing his style. also unless you have some sort of proof other then just a gut feeling that he is doing drugs I wouldn't drug test him because if he isn't he is going to feel very hurt that you did not trust him.
however: if he shows any signs of drug use I would sit him down and talk to him Before you test him.


ANSWER #2 of 109

ok well. I know people who are preppy who do drugs and drink and I know skaters who dont. so dont judge on wearing the color black. just talk to your son about it. thats my best advice

Are there health risks if kids eat pencil erasers?
ANSWER #3 of 109

ok im 15 so I now all the sh*t that happenes kk first of all just cause he changed his styles doesnt mean nothin (dont crisize it cuase I have shirt wit skulls on them && my mom says that they are bad && sh*t)cause I changed my stle this year if hes im a band then hes a rocker if he skate board she nither emo puck or skater (if hes does both hes both) just if you she changes in his personalty ps dont gve him a drug test yet youl just make him mad at you wait a little while ps he may think hes high but hes not cause I no a kid that roll up leaves && says it weed and kids actually buy it lol there stupid && drugs arent just goin on in high skool my sdis im 6 grade could get drugs from a guy in her grade now thats preey sad but anyways hope it helped

Why is my child gets high fever only at night?
ANSWER #4 of 109

About the conversation: I'm not an expert, but I'm pretty sure they are on about paint.

Hope it helps
S&S

What to do while babysitting a 4 year old boy
ANSWER #5 of 109

I don't really know much about drugs, because I've never done drugs, but based on what I've seen, you should ask him, and ask him questions about his friends.
I'm not so sure he is doing drugs, It might help if you told him about your experiences with drugs/alcohol, and the negative effects it has on people.I wish I could help more.
xoxo Emily

My 11 year old has a "boyfriend"
ANSWER #6 of 109

heh,
you're oh-so old school. people think im a stoner, people say I dress like a stoner.
I make straight A's in school. Just because something was true in your day and age doesn't prove it true for ours. the people with yhe real drug problems are the prissy ones. the ones you kid used to hang out with. truthfully, if he is hanging out with the ''darker'' crowd, he's probably safer.

ill show you mine if you show me yours
ANSWER #7 of 109

as a 15 yr old...dont judge your son by what he does or how he dresses maybe he likes the style...me myself am a scene/punk or w/e but I dont drink or do drugs his grades might be slipping because he is getting really into his stuff or maybe he is going threw drama at skool talk to him about it but dont assume

How do I deal with my boyfriend's daughter's manipulative behavior?
ANSWER #8 of 109

hi im 15 I've never been high but I've smoked.
But if hes shy when you pick him up if hes acting nervous. or if his eyes are red, or if hes hungry
hope I helped :)


ANSWER #9 of 109

find out about his friends, and ask him where he's going a lot. by the way you CANT always tell by how he dresses because I know a lot of kids that do drugs and not all of them are emo, gothic, etc, they all dress different.


ANSWER #10 of 109

yes.
I am pretty sure that he is smoking the ganga.
if he likes the clown posse whatever the hell
he definally is. everyone in his age group these days does drugs. im not surprised if he has tried coke and heroin.

good luck with that.


ANSWER #11 of 109

I used to be that kid smart, shy, quiet...So I can tell you from experience that more than likely the kid is just trying to fit in...Being the smart shy kid becomes depressing and he is acting just like I did...Yes I do smoke myself but it didn't start like that...It started after I got through that phase...And you would be surprised just how many of those "good little kids" that dress nice, do smoke...


ANSWER #12 of 109

You'll be able to smell it on him when he comes home. Also try to smell if he's recently put on some deoderant-.. might be trying to cover the smell.


ANSWER #13 of 109

This is to your question about your sons conversation. Im pretty sure the conversation is about Spraypaint. It is possible that they could be inhaling but the part where the friend actually has a preference in color means that they might just be dong graffiti. Thats what most young kids are doing around here where I live. Also most of my brothes' friends are into the graffiti thing..I dont think you should be worrying so much


ANSWER #14 of 109

I'm 14 you can tell if he a stoner if hes been lazy latly, when he comes home from goin out hes got huge bags under his eyes or starts tearing your kitchen apart for food. he might be pale. his slipping grades could just be stress but maybe your right... Just because his friends are stoners doesn't mean he is. all my friends have been stoners since I met them but I have never been interested in that...


ANSWER #15 of 109

there is no particular way stoners dress...
its mostly
"ghetto"
tho


ANSWER #16 of 109

the smell and if they are sleepy


ANSWER #17 of 109

umm lets see if hes smokeing weed hes going to be laughfin a lot and eating if its hard drugs like coke,meth umm parinoid,large puples,and not hungry


ANSWER #18 of 109

Your son sounds like he is sniffing paint. IT CAN AND POBABLY WILL KILL HIM!!! You need to knoe now. If he is you need to stop him. Two kids died from tis a couple of monthe ago. It is not funny and shouldn't be left alone if he is doing paint. Colors have differnt highs based on the contents. Please, make him mad by not trusting him. He'll get over that. He won't get over death.


ANSWER #19 of 109

I would go crazy if my mum tried 2 give me a drug test I like to make my own decisions if I want to go down that path then I will but it will pass he's only 15 sk8rs are kool 2 b round u'll find that sk8rs arnt on drugs or drinkin they sk8 round town n do tricks thats all u need 2 chill he's becoming what they want 2 b


ANSWER #20 of 109

well my friend is a fan of the whole emo or goth thing but shes not a stoner. shes just into the look. u shouldnt worry much 4 that. but if he says random stuff lyke "look at the bunny" and theres nothin, id worry.


ANSWER #21 of 109

Most deff...Thos are signs he is geting high also they are signs of him just being a kid...But just roam around and check things out befor you come to these conclutions


ANSWER #22 of 109

no i would not fink that he is a stoner by the way he looks i know a lot of people who look like that and dont do drugs i myself drink occasionly but only a bit if sum1 offered me drugs i would say know but u know ur son the best so if u saw him in that situation wat would he do!!!


ANSWER #23 of 109

Thanks for all the responses- it is making me feel a bit better. One thing- I definately have never smelled pot or even cigarettes on him, so that point does make me feel better. OK, now I am addicted to funadvice, lol - never even heard of it before today... Thanks guys!


ANSWER #24 of 109

Chances are he's tried it (tons of high school kids have), and his shirts or music tastes don't necessarily reflect it (I listen to TONS of stoner bands but can't remember the last time I tried MJ), but it definitely doesn't mean he does it regularly. Give him space and respect, don't come off to strong but definitely let him no at least in an indirect way what your opinion is on drugs, even lesser drugs like weed. Great question!


ANSWER #25 of 109

im 14, and i wouldnt be very happy if my parents made me take a drug test. i would feel asif they didnt trust me just because of my clothing. i think you should trust your children and try to understand the fact that they are dressing to fit in with friends. all kids do it these days, but if its gets to a point where you get Very worried about your children then is the time to question them and maybe even take it further. but dont pounce on them!!


ANSWER #26 of 109

Im 15.
I know exactly what your talking about.
You probably shouldnt be alarmed.
Most kids my age are going through this too.

most kids in my grade get high with marijuana.
im not gonna lie,it fun to do.
it doesnt hurt you,and you cant OD from it.
nor is it an addictive drug.

sit your son down,and talk to him about drugs.
dont jump to conclusions that hes on them,it might make him lose trust
make sure he knows you support him.
and that your there for him.

ps_if you listen to his insane clown posse music,DONT take any of it seriously.
i listen to ICP,they threaten alot,but they are NOT literal in anyway.
Its mostly oppositional stuff,
and nothing serious.
=]


ANSWER #27 of 109

* Signs of Marijuana use:
o Dilated (large) pupils
o Cigarette rolling papers
o Seeds that have been cleaned from marijuana
o Smell on clothing, in room, or in car
o Bloodshot eyes
o Sleepy appearance
o Reduced motivation
o Pipes, bongs, homemade smoking devices (you may see sticky residue from burned marijuana)Anxiety
o Difficulty thinking
o Distorted sensory perceptions
o Dry mouth
o Euphoria (temporary feelings of elation, energy and limitless power)
o Feeling sluggish
o Grandiosity (acting in a pompous or boastful manner)
o Impaired judgment
o Impaired short-term memory
o Inappropriate laughter
o Increased heart rate
o Increased appetite, craving sweets
o Reduced coordination
o Temporary feelings of reduced anxiety or stress
o Sadness/depressed mood
o Sensation that time is passing slowly
o Social withdrawal and isolation
o Craving for sweets
o Discolored fingers
o Enlarged eye pupils
o Impaired short term memory
o Increased appetite
o Red, puffiness under the eyes
o Sleepiness
o Small seeds in the lining of pockets
o Strong odor of burnt leaves
o Use of incense
* Warning Signs that Marijuana Use is a Problem:
o Altered perception of reality(e.g., hallucinations, delusions and suspicious thoughts).
o Continued marijuana use despite significant problems related to use (e.g., financial/legal problems or neglecting responsibilities).
o Craving marijuana.
o Finding it increasingly difficult to resist using marijuana when it is available.
o Spending a great deal of time in activities necessary to obtain marijuana.
o Cutting back or stopping important social, occupational or recreational activities because of marijuana use.
o Minimizing marijuana consumption including frequency and intensity.
o Unsuccessful attempts to control or cut down use.
* Signs and Symptoms of Cannabis Overdose: Excessive use of marijuana can create paranoia and possible psychosis. These same effects may develop from long-term use of the drug, which has also been observed to produce sharp personality changes, especially in adolescent users.
o lung damage
o chronic bronchitis
o lowering of testosterone
o acute anxiety attacks
o chronic reduction of attention span
o possible birth defects, still births and infant deaths

Marijuana is usually smoked using cigarette rolling papers, a purchased water bong, or a makeshift bong that can be made from a variety of items. Hash can be smoked or eaten, and is sometimes cooked into baked goods. Generally it can be difficult to recognize marijuana use if you don't see the individual after smoking when they are still experiencing the effects of the drug. The potency of marijuana has increased exponentially in the past 20 years.

Slang: Weed, ganga, bud, IZM, jive stick, Kentucky blue, Ju-Ju (marijuana cigarette), kiff, kilter, Lakbay diva, laughing grass, light stuff, binky (cigarette), macon, magic smoke, blanket (cigarette), Mary and Johnny, Mary Jane, Mary Jonas, Mary Warner, Mary Weaver, meg, meggie, mow the grass (to smoke), moving the lawn (smoking marijuana), bowl, broccoli, budda, oboy, OJ, butter flower, pine, cannabis, Queen Ann's lace, root, rope, sasfras, sen, shrimp, siddi, crying weed, spliffy (cigarette), splim, dinkie dow, duros, tin (pipe made out of tinfoil, container), toke (to smoke), wheat, gage, gash, wooz, yeh, yellow submarine, zol, Greta, griff, grogged (extremely stoned), gungun, herb


ANSWER #28 of 109

it might have nothing to do with they act and their style I am super preppy and have that good girl reputation with my parents and I have been high before. you can tell if their really hungry when they come home and their eyes are red ad theier really happy or relaxed


ANSWER #29 of 109

ICP rules
& uhmm who cares if your kids a stoner
he'll just expirement
a little

& I've'e been drug tested & I totally hated my parenst for it


ANSWER #30 of 109

I think its just the music that makes him want to wear black
wow I feel like I've known him for years, I can relate to what hes probably going through
thing is I used to get bad grades then eventually get onto honor roll

but anyway I think I got something that would really help
http://stash.norml.org/2008/04/18/dr-mitch-earleywine-on-parents-guide-to-marijuana/

try that link
has great information!

and for the win these are my view points on marijuana, spread the word!
These are some of the comments I have copied from a forum

-pharmaceuticals are known to kill more people than illegal drugs

-marijuana is the number 1 cash crop in the world
it serves as a natural medicine and has many other uses
thats why they prohibited it so big companies can make more profit
thanks to "bad journalism"

-can also help aids patients, aids diminishes appetite
have them smoke a joint and they regain their appetite counteracting the illness

-no one can die from smoking cannabis and has been no known deaths compared to everything else including alcohol, tobacco, etc..

I myself have asthma and smoking opens up my airways making it easier to breathe with no side effects
when medically legalized in my state I look foward to becoming a patient for prescription marijuana. 12 states have already legalized it along with other countries in the world and more following
my job is to educate people that are not aware of the plants uses

re-legalize!

-I did most of my research through websites, books, magazines, and the news
norml.org
high times magazine
etc..

- theres more to it than just getting high
and I believe legalizing it would make this a better world to live in

-God bless the whole crop!

- and for people that dont smoke, you dont need to smoke it to support it

-all the better reason for the government to legalize..
couple reasons why it should be legalized:
-will be removed from black market and stop empowering gang members
-medical reasons
-would be sold like alcohol, remember alcohol was once prohibited too (in stores away from children, have to be 21+)
-would be a law that you cant drive while intoxicated on weed
-prison population would lower (prisons are overcrowding with nonviolent offenders)
-keep patients from being convicted
-would provide millions of jobs for people
-would make us an independent country (fuel, etc.., debt free america)

people with an addiction (including hard drugs) shouldnt be thrown in jail, they need help
theres more people in jail with mental illnesses than there are in mental institutions

the list goes on

- the War on Drugs is a failure, its a war on its own people. policies need to be changed
we pay billions in taxpayers money to keep the war going and neither side is winning
thats just a waste of our tax money
I wonder what they do with all that money..
those greedy bastards just sell drugs back onto the street, you can even check urself on that
there was a time when there was a cia operation transporting drugs overseas into america
the government also provided Rick Ross with plenty of heroin to go around, course making money from it

the truth must be exposed, theyre dirty work must stop!

-Of course we can do something about it, we all just need to unite
screw the federal government
remember slavery?
if no one stood up im pretty sure it would still be going on
people were tortured, beaten, killed and thrown in jail but that didnt stop them standing up for their rights
eventually slavery was abolished
same with alcohol prohibition
eventually became re-legalized

- its like theres some kind of conspiracy going on
I sense the government is up to no good and trying to control us.
credit cards, money, and now they have chips that can be implanted in skin for uselful reasons but if in the wrong hands well were pretty much fuct
they hiding the truth from us
its dangerous to be right when the government is wrong
they got theyre privacy but we dont. they want to know everything were doing on our leisure time

get up stand up!

- marijuanas not anti-establishment because its illegal, its illegal because its anti-establishment

all facts stated have been double-checked and confirmed
want to learn more?
norml.org
americandrugwar.org
hightimes.com
lets all make this a better place to live in!


ANSWER #31 of 109

You don't know till you catch em, when you let hime go to shows, he probly hitting the bomb. Even at school. So its a matter of his mistake on getting caught.


ANSWER #32 of 109

just let kids be kids. if he starts becoming drastically different, or harmful, talk to him about it. other wise, let it be.


ANSWER #33 of 109

hes getting high. sorry to tell you this but im a kid whos in highschool and about every one in there has gotten high and if hes haggining out with the punk style people then hes getting high cause its part of there style. hell I've even gotten high and im a straight a student. he just want to experement causekids are smarter then their parents 90% of the time. proven fact. my iq is 40 points higher than my dads and im in the 9th grade. so yea.


ANSWER #34 of 109

dude its STYLE


ANSWER #35 of 109

I'm a stoner myself,14, and I'm not into black, well I am, but not that mach
anyway, got to go
hope this helps


ANSWER #36 of 109

As a mother I can tell you...don't judge a book by it's cover. Your son is at an age where he needs to be social. He needs independence. The worst thing you can do is accuse him of doing something he isn't. It is best to talk to your son about the dangers of drugs and alchohol and show him the effects it has on people. Regardless of what you say he is his own person and must learn things on his own. The best advice I can give you is be there for him, help guide him in the right direction yet give him enough trust to be his own person. Good luck.


ANSWER #37 of 109

I have 3 friends(not really friends tho) who are stoners.They have anger managment probs and they act like tired and as if they're buzzed(maybe they are lol).But when you bring it up keep it suddle.Maybe if he askes your age you can somehow slip in how you aren't proud of what you did as a kid.Maybe lie a bit and say how terrible it was and stuff.It will make the kid *think* about stopping or telling you at least.Remember a lie isnt a lie unless it's used for a bad cause.


ANSWER #38 of 109

its chavs and ravers that do drugs not punks/goths/emos or whatever.its just the music.

SKATERS ARE PEACFULL PEOPLE !!!


ANSWER #39 of 109

I wouldn't be too worried. I'm one of the kids who wears black, skateboards, the whole deal. But I don't do drugs. Don't listen to saw3rules. Not all punk kids do drugs. If you're really concerned ask him questions. If he's smoking he'll most likely look away and pretend he didn't hear you. Or maybe he won't look directly at you when he answers. This approach may not work if he's a good liar though. A change in clothes doesn't mean anything. Neither does a change in friends. As kids we grow apart from old friends and we change our style because we like the new clothes we're wearing better. Skulls and stuff doesn't mean anything. I know girls who wear all pink and they smoke pot. ANYONE CAN SMOKE POT. Just 'cause he's wearing more black doesn't mean anything.


ANSWER #40 of 109

okay, well.. honestly weed isn't bad. you should look up on it.
and the clothing thing may be a hint, but thats rare..
you can usually smell the weed..
but if your kid is getting drunk, and doing coke, and other bad drugs..
then you should really be worried.
he'll go off if you give him a test, but you should do it anyway.
I'm fourteen.. and yeah
this stage of life just sucks.
..espically now a days.


ANSWER #41 of 109

wow this question is really old!


ANSWER #42 of 109

OKAY U NEED TO TALK TO HIM!!!1


ANSWER #43 of 109

Well, I'm 14 so I hope this helps you. Punk style is very popular these days! Theres punks, Gothes, Emos! So basically it could just be the way he dresses! The only people I know who are stoners dress normally so I wouldn't know about the way they dress. But ways which I notice in the way they act is they get the munchies real bad!! They always look tired! you can just kinda tell I suppose! As for if my parent asked me for a drugs test, well, the way I've been brought up I wouldn't mind but a lad whos been brought up in a stable environment would probably flip so you might just have to look for the signs! If you do and it's positive you'll just have to try and talk to him,but don't be to forceful or he'll just freak out! Sorry I couldn't help you much!! Hope this helps a little bit anyway! x


ANSWER #44 of 109

truthfully um.. if he listens to icp or twiztid /blaze ya dead homie then your son is going to start smoking pot if he hasnt already im a juggalette and we get high and just chill with our homies


ANSWER #45 of 109

way to blame your drug and alcohol abuse on your parents
"I had an excuse"
please
as for your son, let him make his own mistakes... maybe he has "excuses" that you dont know abt


ANSWER #46 of 109

Well that not getting high. Its normal for boys to be interested in that stuff. Its comon that he is hanging with friends a lot for hours. He might seem different but it okay he is just becoming something else. He is proablem talking about girls and stuff. He is really just growing up.


ANSWER #47 of 109

sweetmac 05 you have no idea what you are talking about im 18 and smoke ciggs and weed geuse wich one is worse for me... duh ciggs the reason weed is illegal is because of serious mental side effects especialy schytzaphrenia lerski is probaly right about the paint and if he is confront him NOW cause sniffing ;paint is far worse then tokeing on a joint trust me I know im not saying im proud of it but I've done just about every drug you can think except the big H and weed is the least of your worrys seriously just sit down talk to him about it let him know that you dont like it but dont force him to spit it out cause a rift in a parent child relationship is the hardest thing to fix I WAS one of the worst kids you could imagine so bad that I was kicked out and put into DOCS (America:child welfare) when I was nine and have been fighting for the last 10 years to have a good relationship with both of my parrents you said yourself that you used to smoke weed and all that do still its probably a phase and if not well thats life tell him if hes going to do it which he will if he wants to you would rather he do it at home rather then in a place where it could lead to a potentialy dangerous situation talk to him about it.

peace out

raynor


ANSWER #48 of 109

well honestly teenagers are all like this; we all have our drunken times and high times; we've all done it, don't be afraid to admit it. but I really don't know what it's like to have "real" parents, so I couldn't tell you about the whole drug test thing.


ANSWER #49 of 109

Really, Just because he is buying clothes that are black and have skulls doesnt mean he is getting high. Im 16, I know a lot of people who are into the gruge emo look and that is what it sounds like your son is getting into. I have tried smoking pot before but I did it once and didnt like it. If your son is smoking pot, he will get super munchies and be really lazy, he wouldnt have the energy to go skateboarding all day. My little brother just turned 14 and is now growing his hair out and dressing emo/grunge/punk. He goes out skating all day but you have to trust that they will make the right decision. Unless you catch him with pot or actually high then you cant bug out on him because then he will just keep pulling further and further away from you. Believe me I went through my mom with that. But how to tell if he is high is his eyes they might be red or glossed over his pupils dialted maybe, he will get the munchies and he will get lazy.


ANSWER #50 of 109

hey im 14 and I live in the u.k if you are really worried about your son smokin, drinkin, gettin high just simply talk to him about it tell him that you did it when you where his age dont try and make him quick straight away becouse he will probably just start an argument tell him that you would like him to quick some time soon then tell him that your worried for his health and his well beeing you should no about gettin high of weed,coke,pot,smack ect and that is why you should try and make him quit straight away becouse I would if my mom asked me to. so there you go oh and btw do not try with the drug testing you will just lose his trust completly. hope that helped bye


ANSWER #51 of 109

well I see where youre coming from but just because hes wearing black clothes and skates for hours doesnt mean hes doing drugs. a lot of kids are into skating and rock these days maybe thats just the scene hes into. He probably stays out for awhile because skating can be pretty fun and once you go around town it will take awhile to get home. Just ask him what he thinks about drugs and see what he what say if you asked him if he would ever try them. Maybe you should try smoking with him like one time so he can see what it's like.


ANSWER #52 of 109

Hi,
I'm 14 and I think my dad is having the same thoughts about me as you are about your son. The thing is, the times they have seen me with my friends, I have unfortunately been with guys or girls that yes, most would porbably label stoners. I get asked if I'm a stoner quite a lot too as a matter of fact, even though I am not. To be honest, yes, some of my friends do get stoned on rare occasions, but they are really the nicest people I've ever met. The fact that they have been stoned before, doesn't mean they always are. To pick on one example, I know one guy who has very long hair and wears a large black coat all the time and most adults would either judge him hippy and/or punk stoner. However, he is one of the kindest and most moral people I have ever met. He will always point out when you've gone to far and always go that extra mile to be kind. Getting stoned is not something that, if done in small amounts, can affect a person too seriously. However, if you do get seriously worried, just talk to him. However, there is a very very high chance that he is not doing anything overly terrible. Wearing skulls and black is not a way to define what background someone has, or what activities they get up to. I have the problem where my parents reall dont trust anything I do and it is really upsetting. I contantly feel like im in a prison or cage. Giving independance is the key to trust both ways.
xxx
<3


ANSWER #53 of 109

there eyes they will have harldy no energy there eyes will go red with brown skin colour or there eyes will go blood shot


ANSWER #54 of 109

ok miss mom well I know your trying to play the good mom and keep your kid off drug witch is ok and good im 18 and have been smokin weed since 12 and my parents just yelled and tried to keep me off the pot but at the time I was going through allot we lost a home and move to one in the "ghetto" yeh f you emos and preps im white and I dress in baggy clothes but im also well educated where it was easy to get all kinds of drugs then they got good jobs and we move back to a small town so they both smoked in there day so they knew all the signs and blamed it on the way I dressed and and the music I listend to but I kept smoken and they kept at me and sorry to say that kind of made me just lie and levavat random times and I eventualy got into harder drugs like cocaine and lsd mushrooms alcohol a lot of coke and drinking and weed and they went off on me all the time and id get angey and leave and I was on a downward spiral and as I got older like 16-17 they let up and just talked to me I found you know there older they grew up in the 60s-70s they did a lot of the same things and the harder drugs are just horable and I actualy slowed down on the hard stuff and even on the weed when I no longer had to hide it all the time and now I barley ever smoke just at party and when im stressed I smoke some weed I dont even drink now so I guess im saying give him some breathing room be honest and stet some ok bounds not to restricted and snooping and being nosie just gets kids mad remeber for every action there is a equal and opposite reaction but hey I cant tell you how to do your job

now I've graduated high school 4 mounths early since my parents stoped trying to rule my life and thats after being at c-f grades c if I was lucky now im going to collage in the fall
oh and the myspace thing sounds like just some ciggarttes keep him off those for real I smoke and now I wish I would have never started or maybe pills those are realy bad to and if he dose go to partys tell him he has to stay there no matter what drinking and driveing is serius now but in my advice dont get to woried if he comes home smelling like pot once and awale as long as whoevers driving is not smokeing its the lesser of many evils oh and the whole icp emo goth fad hes into should blow over in time heck I used to dress like a wiger I still where my cloths baggy though


ANSWER #55 of 109

"most kids in my grade get high with marijuana.
im not going to lie,it fun to do.
it doesnt hurt you,and you cant OD from it.
nor is it an addictive drug"

This is the problem.
People doing drugs, a lot of the time, haven't really been educated on why they're illegal in the first place.

Here's the thing:
1) Marijuana can hurt you. Badly. Have you ever heard of Emphysema? How about different types of oral and lung cancer? It's still smoking--so you've got all the risks of smoking cigarretes, but worse. Or even if you don't smoke it--hello, gum disease. This just scratches the surface of what can happen to you.

2) Not an addictive drug? It might not be physically addicting, but it is one of the most emotionally and mentally addicting drugs on the market. PLUS it's a gateway drug, and if you get into heavier stuff...well, the impact on you will be heavier as well.

Health class is there for a reason. Take it before you spout off with ridiculous ignorance, and possibly influence the views and behaviours of other teens. Thanks.


ANSWER #56 of 109

miss you smoked weed you turned out fine, maybe you should stop trying to find answers on the internet and go blaze with your son, and yeah I smoke and im doing perfectly fine, the reason kids try weed is because theyre lied to, by advertisements on the tv, old people, and grown ups, some of them atleast. I dont have kids but if I ever do ima just tell em how it is, either your going to do it, or your not no matter what I say but if you are do it in a safe place


ANSWER #57 of 109

hello
my name is chris from oregon I go to a high school where every one drinks and dose drugs and I have a few stoner freinds but I know what is rigth from rong so I am vary thankfull for my parints, ohh and he might pass the drug test but there are other ways to get high like breathing rely hard or haging them selves in the closit or hanging up side down and not brathing and then you get high. so they dont have to be doing druges to get high


ANSWER #58 of 109

it really pisses me off about how everybody is acting so shallow. I was the little punk girl in high school who listened to the sex pistols, dead kennedys to ICP lamb of God and Manson, and I didnt give a damn what people thought (because I was young and knew it all lol) but I didnt do any drugs.
Life for kids nowadays is tough, and there could be many reasons why his grades slipped. Kids have so much pressure from everything now to be perfect.
If you have never found him guilty give him the benefit. Until you have proof just think back to when you were a punk. It's his time to "Find himself" or make himself an "Individual"


ANSWER #59 of 109

umm im 14 and I think it could be the style but judging the convo it does seem pretty werid. especailly the whole color thing. I know kids my age have secret code words for everything so talk to him about it

and if he is DONT FREAK I mean have a one on one thing where your son can feel good about alking to you or else hell totally deny it and argue and scream and maybe even leave to a friends house.

Think before you act... good luck


ANSWER #60 of 109

Ok- I admit when I was in highschool I was incredibly obsessed with smoking pot and would do it 3 or 4 times A DAY. It didn't have anything to do with my homelife. My parents are great- they don't even drink alcohol to wind down, and we always do very family oriented things, including eating all of our meals together. My grades remained A's and I had a 4.0 throughout all those stages- plus I started on Varsity for all the years in all the sports I played. It can be hard to tell, but one thing I always did was avoid coming home. My parents went to bed fairly early to sleep for work the next day- so I would just stay out until they went to bed- simple as that. If you do the same type thing- you should wait up for him and talk to him when he gets home. If he looks high (red or glazy eyes) then maybe you could ask. My dad found out one night by asking "are you smoking pot?" And I simply told him yes. A FEW YEARS LATER (Yes it was a LONG phase) I don't even touch it! There is hope- and dropping grades aren't always the sign- like I said, I had a 4.0 and was smoking at least 3 times a day!


ANSWER #61 of 109

ok I wear a lot of black and metal is my life. I do want a future and although I don't always have good grades quite often not. I have never taken drugs or goten drunk althoug have drank a little bit and I nver want to take drugs and nver will.
I wouldn't make him stop listening to metal and all that but you should just put some limitaions on him, talk to him and find out mroe bout huis friends.


ANSWER #62 of 109

Hello, I'm 20 years old (just had a b/day like 4 days ago, so was a teen), and a huge prep (ones w/ the coach purse and shoes), Just saying any one can smoke pot lol, anyways, how you can tell I'm high. *Pot increases circulation to your eyes, so my eyes are always squinty and red * Eat more than usual * Weed has always gave me a good nights sleep, so I'm not sure a/b the grades thing, but for me I'll pass out in weird places instead of my bed)* Use to not look my parents in the eyes (ofcorse now I'm opened with it)*Will always be somewhere else, instead of the house* Stay out late (was so that no one would be up when I came home)*Smelled like a weird cigar w/ a lot of perfume (even if you try to cover it up, it has still been on me even if I wear my husbands Axe lol) and the last thing I can think of would be*Running out around 7 saying something like "oh, I have to give this girl her purse I borrowed back, really that was my time to get the weed*. I know this makes me sound like a bad person, but really people that smoke it are probably just not happy with life or something that's bothering them. That's how I was, being depressed is what got me started. I just figured that smoking pot would be better than killing my self. Maybe if you talked to him nicely I tried to find out if there's anything bothering him, it might help make him change. I wouldn't worry a/b pot though, It's not addictive. I'm 4 months pregnant and haven't smoked in 5. But I'll be honest, I'll start back later in life, just b/c that's who I am now. lol I guess a pot head?? Anyways, I hope this helped you out some. And as far as the clothes go, it's okay to wear black shirts with skulls and even have a million ear rings. That's just who he is you know? lol I'm a HUGE Metallica fan, and I've tried to get my preppy friends to listen to it too and most of them want to turn it when Master of puppets, one of their best songs (for me) comes on. But I dont get mad at them for that. I can also say every book of the bible and then tell you something that happens in that book. lol I'm just all mixed I guess. Anyways I hope you have a great day, and good luck w/ your son. I hope everything works out for yall. God Bless


ANSWER #63 of 109

Im sooo glad you are a concerned and loving parent!
hey
I've done some drugs and know lots about this kind of stuff. well the only thing you can buy that comes in a can and different colors is somthing you can huff. like whip it or spray pain or even hair spray. you cant get many drugs that make you throw up for that cheep (5) at least were I live and its a city. it might just be a decoy or not even drugs t all. I say confront him about drugs and be kind about it. let him know that you care and your views on drugs. it may help if you tell him about your drug experiances. DONT tell him that you were looking at his myspace. he might freek out and not trust you. then he wont listen. ask him if hes done drugs(bring it up casually rent a movie that has drugs in it or somthing to get stared). if he says no and you are realy conserned then go throw his room . if you find somthing then throw it away and ask him about the drugs again then get a drug test. after that tell him you found it. hope I helped.

oh and the can may be a pipe to smoke out of. I dont know theres many things it could be.

ps: the clothes thing is not a big deal. just keep reminding him of all the positive things about other styles as well as his style. just be supportive and teach him diversity hill find his way with your slight guid. just be suportive about his style choices in my opinion. my mom always hated all the rock and punk I listen to but she seemed to find some good things about it . she also tought me about other people and how you can learn from all types of people.

I think youll do the right thing. you sound like youve got it under controll. kinda. :)
I hope I helped a little...maybe...

xxx
sassysammy


ANSWER #64 of 109

The conversation your son had on the messenger was a little strange. Especially the typo for the 'pm' as 'om'. Maybe it was a decoy to see if you were snoooping? Unless you retyped it for here. But, ignoring all that...
The only thing I can really think of as far as the color thing goes and everything is maybe he's huffing paint. It's doubtful, but the only other drug that comes in a can is NO2(bitus oxide, or laughing gas, neither of which would show up in a standard drug test) Lets hope it's not, because we all know how bad that stuff can be for you. I hope it's really nothing, and I hope you get it all resolved. I would love to hear his excuse...


ANSWER #65 of 109

Its not that big of a deal if your son is smoking weed, its safer than cigarettes and alcohol, I have a lot of friends who smoke everyday and have almost all A's, I smoke almost everyday before school or at lunch and my grades havn't gone down at all, it just makes learning funner, this doesnt work for everyone though, some people suck at learning when their high. Almost everyone in highschool smokes weed or has, most do it often. Its not that bad, the only bad effects to it are tiredness, sore throat, lack of motivation (only while high) and short term memory loss(only while high). It is a fact that not one person has ever died from smoking weed by itself and not one person has ever got lung cancer from only smoking weed, people think that you cant drive while high but that is bull crap, if anything you are better because you are more cautious, also the only reason people who smoke grades go down is because they are smoking after school and arnt in the mood for doing homework. Your sons grades are probably going down because hes in highschool, Junior high is way easier than highschool. The only reason weed is illegal is because it is a gateway drug. Most kids will not have red eyes when they come home because they put eyedrops in, also they usually dont put collogne on unless they smoke right before they come home because weed smoke smell goes away a lot faster than cigarette smell. As long as your son doesnt go on to harder drugs, you should not be worried even if you know your son is a stoner. If I were you I would be more worried about cigarettes and alcohol.


ANSWER #66 of 109

Hi I stumbled across your question my name is Ruth I am 20 years old and would like to offer you some peace. I was raised in a semi strict christian family and I am an only child so there was more attention on me. My friends were rasied by single parents and my parents have been married happily for 23 years anyway I did feel pressure around 7th grade and my friends often partied and did drugs I particiapated very few times because of the values my parents instilled in me. At the same time they sheltered me too much that when I left the nest I went to far. My parents relized there was a problem my second term of college when I didnt even have the friends that knew what I stood for. I wanted to experiment because I knew tmy parents werent there but they still knew I was into something they suspected that I was doing powders which I was and I took a drug test at 18 to prove I wasnt on powders. I failed for marijuana but I was 18 and had the power to put myself in treatment but I didnt. I failed out of college and relized that I had messed up what I worked so hard for in high school. I understand your past and am very thrilled that you didnt let history repeat its self. I was going for Social work with the handicapt and have had friends with the situation you came from and most of the time history repeats its self in family values but you strived for better so I greatly respect that! as for your question about testing your child if you feel its a big concern do it he will hate it but you will know the truth and can get him help before its too late but if its just a hunch wait awhile and see if its a big concern. I know that you love your child and thats whats most important and if you have instilled the values in your child that you would want betrayed it will happen. I have a lot of respect for my parents and love them dearly and know that they tested me because they were concerned. Even though I stuck my foot in the waters of drugs I got my kick in the butt reality call by failing out of college now I am paing for it. I wish you luck and if he tells you he hates you for it he really doesnt hes just pissed you care so much.


ANSWER #67 of 109

well first off, lots of people wear black with skulls, or what ever on their shirts, and I am one of them, but my wardrobe changes constantly. Stoners dress normally, and even as really popular kids, they shop at American eagle, and aero. They arnt the regular stereotypes. And maybe the work in school is just getting harder... I wouldnt really care if my parents made me take a drug test, because I have nothing to hide, I might be a little offended that they didnt trust me but that would be about it. :) hope everything works out!


ANSWER #68 of 109

well, first off, clothes are no base for judgement, I know you realize that... true stoners have a look, but sober people can hang out with stoners too... id say. if you want to know if hes smoking, maybe you could ask him, and be open about it. maybe its not the best idea to say you did it, it might encourage him, but try to be honest with him, so you can expect that same in return. if he is smoking hes probibly deathly afraid of you finding out, stoners are paranoid. does he cough, are his eyes red and half closed, does he smell skunky? :D anywho, hope I could help... both you and him.


ANSWER #69 of 109

hi...okay I am 15 too...(and I think you answered my question too) lol...anyway... you should not be very concerned yet. If he starts coming home late, his eyes bloodshot or pinkish, he mumbles that he's going to bed, creates arguments when ever you tell him to do something when he comes home late saying he's headed for bed. then is the time to worry. I have a brother that is now turning 17, and he was a druggy, so I know what to look for. Also if he comes home and takes Ibuprofen (or any other meds to soothe headaches ect.) also if he comes home and your not sure if he has been smoking or drinking, hug him. If he smells like beer...then duh he's been drinking lol...but if theres is a weird smell like heavy collogne or something else along that line...he is covering up a smell that he does not want you to smell. that goes for his breath too...well I hope that helped. good luck!


ANSWER #70 of 109

ok first of all. yes.. your kid is most likely getting high... but you do no want to stress this.. its no big deal everyone out there would bve suprised at who and how many people are pot heads. just let him know that he needs to be dealing with the rest of his life ( like school) and not just having fun. and on the drug test subject.. I would flip and move out.. my friends parents told him take drug tests ( all over pot) or get out. They lost there son becasue of that, they never see or speak to him anymore. and the excuse of using drugs to escape( from a hard child hood as you said) just becasue your kids life seems good and happy and you feel like you have doine the best for him, doesnt mean that it is


ANSWER #71 of 109

Hi

KUDOS to you for being a mom that cares. Now to go about that without your son feeling like you're a super-snoop.

http://www.acde.org/parent/signs.htm is a great summary of what to look for. With a few key words in hand max your use of the net so you are one SAVVY mom!

You can warn your son of certain dangers, perhaps some of them you think you may even see in him at times, so he knows you know. Eventually he'll catch himself thinking "My Mom knows her stuff... I'm not going to get away with anything!!" Might just keep him from doing something really stupid. If he thinks he's getting things by you he'll get bolder. you want him to know you know - and care. Knowledge can keep you ahead of your kids, and love will keep you from killin' em when they do something dumb.


ANSWER #72 of 109

well what I think you sholde do is sit and tolck eavin cry on frount of him if he high he got red ieys and dose not make eny secce he probly is eom or othic


ANSWER #73 of 109

mamakat, about that conversation that your son had with his friend.. i really dont know what to say. I mean he CAN be talking about alcohol it is possible but what really confused me was this color stuff. Now you said it was on the myspace and he DID give you his password and all that stuff so you wouldn't have any doubts on him, so don't. Just ask your son about it. And if the story is kind of fishy, get down to the point. Now that is also risking to finding anything else with your son. Have you noticed anything else? Im 16 yrs old and my mother and I have a lovely relationship. She is my true best friend. And i would love for you to have the same relationship with your son, so if you have any concerns I'm here and if you see any other things that concern you, just message me and i'll be glad to help. Hope you have good luck with this one.. LOTS OF LUCK... <3


ANSWER #74 of 109

OK - sorry to say that I need your help again-- I need some more teenge expertise!! Now I am concerned about this chat between my son and a friend on their myspaces (my son is K, friend is J)--:
7:29pm J: remember to bring the sh*t
8:55om K: it's like barely half full. I thought it was almost full
9:06pm J: any color if its pretty full. can u do that?
9:14pm K: I dont know man
9:20pm J: why??
9:21pm K: I said ok but i'd rather just give you the red
9:24pm J: it's just that im paying $5 for it. i want it to last for more than one throw up.
NEXT DAY:
7:50pm K: sorry i couldnt get you anything else
7:53pm next time i can get you an unused can

SO--- needless to say- I'm VERY concerned ... I'd like to know what you guys think before I give you my son's reluctant explaination. HelP!!!
Just gotta tell ya-- raising teenagers is SOOO much harder than I ever imagined!!


ANSWER #75 of 109

Thanks for all your answers - they were really very helpful! BUT -- I'll let you all know what's been going on lately... One day a couple weeks ago my son "disappeared" for more than 7 hrs after school - by this I mean he got out early (minimum day) - and we didn't hear from him for a while, so started calling around to his friends' who told us they weren't with him, etc.. Come to find out that the friends were lying (because my son told them to) and my husband had to go out and track him down to bring him home that day. Now, "alltheworld" is right when he says I should know the signs because I've experienced drugs before - and avoiding parents at all costs (he knew he had JuiJitsu lessons and dinner, etc) was a BIG red flag for me - because I did the same thing when I was a teeanager when I was high -didn't want to talk to my mom for fear she'd know something was up! Anyways, so that night we ordered the drug test (hair test because it seemed to be the most accurate and reliable)-- and we just got back the results a couple days ago, which were all negative. I am very relieved ,and I will do it again if I have reason to suspect again -- especially if I find that he is being dishonest and sneaky again. Thanks again, for all the advice!! Raising kids is SOOO hard, it's great to be able to get a different and anonymous perspective.


ANSWER #76 of 109

Hi im 17 and I just quit smoking 2 weeks ago. I used to smoke a lot. I never would change the way i dressed or anything of that sorts. The people i smoked with have only been to my house a couple of times. So the people he smokes with you may not see so much. I think as a lot of other people have said he is going through a stage. Don't DONT throw a drug test on him unless you are totally sure. I would kill my parents if they did that to me and i was a sober kid. My grades dropped from honor roll and deans list to neither before i even did drugs. If he comes inside one day and you suspect something ask him a couple of questions(detailed questions) if he answers them with a little chuckle or looks away and then back at you and says "what" there might be something going on. But just because he changed his clothes doesnt mean anything.


ANSWER #77 of 109

Not judging a book by the cover is not a very smart thing. most of the time you are what you seem to be. I am 23 and have a girl and a husband, if she did these types of things I would probably tie her in her room untill she is 30, lol. I used to do alot of drugs and was on the verge of being n alcholic myself , but met my husband and turned a complete 180. I would probably guess that he is doing drugs, pot most likely, it may sound odd, but i think i would sit down with him and have a serious discussion about your suspicions, and be honest, even though when it comes to teenagers 99 % of what comes out of there mouths is lies, but sitting down and being honest, and just try to talk to him like a friend , not juging, maybe even tell him why you are soo worried, what you have done as a kid! If he tends to get very upset its is a pretty good sign he is hidding something, and yes I would get him a drug test, he may not like it but at the same time you are the adult, decision maker not him, and this way you know what you are dealing with, we all don't want anymore colombines happening because we don't want to be unfare to our children, we do what we need to raise them right and give them the stability they need to cary on there own. I really hope everything works out for you and he is indeed just wearing the shirts, i would really watch his behaviour and make sure he doesn'rt start getting really confined to his room and he is pulling back from everyone, if this happends I would be worried for him. there are some really good web sited that show the signs of doing drugs. i would check them out.
i hope this helps
if all that doesn't work a good hard kick in the a** and not being allowed to hang with these kids may also work
thanks


ANSWER #78 of 109

Come out and talk with him and ask if he's getting high and if you know your son then you will know weather or not hes lying to ya.
Most kids will try it but its not good if they keep doing it.
My 16 yr old daughter has tried it, I asked her if she has missed it and she said no it was stupid to even try it.


ANSWER #79 of 109

I'm 16, soon to be 17 and sure i admit, I've done it all.. but sounds like he's just trying to fit in :)

It doesn't mean he's a stoner. Maybe he's just going through a phase?
It may not hurt to talk to him though, don't say you think that he's on drugs mention that maybe his friends look a little odd to you. Explain you're worried of him getting mixed with the wrong people.


ANSWER #80 of 109

Glad you're feeling better mamakat !
You did get some good info - and in a hurry. Sweet.

Now... do we need to look for therapy or counseling for your new addiction? LoL


ANSWER #81 of 109

hey im 14 and i think u need 2 see that things hav changed in 2007 - that style is in, long hair is cool! (lol!) no but seriously. Trust your kid, how do you think he would feel if he found out what you think of his friends? Stop worrying, he's fine!


ANSWER #82 of 109

First of all I'd like for you to let go of the ideal look of your son. Getting High has nothing to do with your look. People do drugs. Teens do drugs. All different kinds of them. Kids you would never expect because they look so "innocent" but the way the dress and the music they listen to has nothing to do with it. Secondly, some signs that this kid is into drugs:

~If he has an allowance or makes money, he spends it without you noticing any new things.

~If he ever comes home from a friend's house and just goes straight to sleep (or straight to the fridge, then to sleep)

~He avoids going home at his normal hours

~If he ever talked to you a lot before, it lessens a lot more and he doesnt talk with you as much.

And Last, if he comes home acting strange, either hyper or out of it depending on his response to the drug, then you'll know. Physical signs are mainly in the eyes, if he tries not to look you in the eyes, he's probably high.

Hope that helps.


ANSWER #83 of 109

No, just because your sons style has changed a bit does not mean he is a stoner.
I don't think ya'll should give him a drug test, not yet at least. Wait a hile and when you really start to think he is then you should get him tested.


ANSWER #84 of 109

and also
my grades also started slipping hard
when i experimented with drugs.
my mom found out
and i told her everything
she has given me 2 drug tests
i failed the first one. and thats how she found out
since then i've had a great relationship with my mom
until she decided she wanted to keep drug testing me
that made me feel like she had turned her back on me
we had been best friends and i told her everything
and i went to a party
she thought i'd done drugs i told her no
but she wanted to test me
i thought i had gained her trust
until she asked me to pee in a cup.
so dont take it too far with the drug tests


ANSWER #85 of 109

ive finished 3 years of high school
i dont smoke
and i dont drink
thought i admit
i HAVE dont both before
as a well known girl in school
i knew everyone from the popular kids
to the cheerleaders
the punks
the skaters
the jocks
and because i was smart in advanced classes
the nerds
and MY freshman year of high school
is when i was introduced to drugs.
all types of drugs
and its so sad to say that the more the years go by
the younger kids are being introduced to these types of drugs
in middle school i knew about drugs but was never confronted with them
the kids from classes underneath me brag ALL THE TIME about how bad a$$ they are
because they're having s*x or smoking.
and i was also suprised to learn that the people i thought would NEVER do anything like that (the geeks of course)
we're the biggest users.
and friends from the "punk" group are also the biggest users.
i try to surround myself with people like me, who would rather just hang out and act stupid
without the use of drugs
but its almost IMPOSSIBLE to find one person who isn't into drugs besides my brothers.
even they do it sometimes though.


ANSWER #86 of 109

Give your kid a break just because his friends look like they were stoners dont mean he would be doing it to. Make your relationship perfect with him to the point where he feels open to come to u and tell u about anything if he does them or has or will. Just let him know that you will always love him no matter what he chooses to do or who he chooses to be in life. Thats what my mom has made our relationship and at one point I could and did tell her everything I ever did. Now i wont and dont because she would go and I would hear her talk about me to other family members on the phone. Keep secerts in between u an ur son. Have a great time spend alot of time with him ask him what he likes to do an go do it even if its going to a concert. Punk and all that is in these days and im only 16 and so many ppl n my school are into it which i dont get that side of life idk i guess im just really southern


ANSWER #87 of 109

heyy

u shouldnt worry abour him im a lil emo kid well people label me as and im not doing drugs but if u see him doing these things u should get a drug test randomly danceing looks really tired and acts really tired saying things look trippy and just random stuff he doesnt normaly do ur not the only mom that worrys about there black clothes wearing kid my mom freaks at me for dressing in black and saying im wearing my eyeliner way to thick! hope i helped a little bit


ANSWER #88 of 109

well im 16
and from what I have learnt is that smart shy kids usually arent the ones getting high behind teh school,thats not to say his friends arent or are
it sounds as if he is a smart boy and that means he wouldnt give in to some dumb weed or whatever they may be doing
ask him
or even just say to him what did you get upto today etc
and even sit with him and say I know your a smart kid and I doubt you would touch any of this stuff etc.. and tell him the horrors of drugs..you said you did drugs so tell some war stories just dont tell him they are yours
keep in mind you need to be careful what you say
add me if you want any moree advice
or anyything
:)


ANSWER #89 of 109

Ok mam I think your going a bit opverboard checking his myspace and judging him on clothes. Chances are if he is doing drugs weed, alchohol whatever you snooping around is not going to stop him, he controls what he does and as tennagers we experiment with drugs sex, alcohol different clothes and anything else. If you try to much to smother your son thats when they do act out and go wild because of the pressure and they need to excape. Trying to prevent it probably wont. Anything that your son does he will have to learn from it on his own and it will only make him stronger. Covering him and snooping around on him and assuming things based on a conversation wont help. The good kids are sometimes the ones that are the sluts, stoners etc etc But they just dont appear so, the punks, emos are sometimes the good kids that look rebellious to cover that up. You really cant tell, whatever happens he will learn from his mistakes trust me. Let him be a teen, provide love and support and he will grow into a healthy young man. If not its not your fault but on him. This is something parents cannot control if you provide the best. Trying to smother him as I said is not providing the best but scaring him into rebellion.


ANSWER #90 of 109

You might be able to teell if hes doing drugs if hes been lazyer than usual lately. When he come home he might be either smelling like stale somethin or he could just have really big bags under his eyes. If I were drug tested by my parents I would feel kind of offended but my parents would have more trust in me. If his freinds are stoners that doesn't really me hes one. All my friends are stoners but I never really been interested in weed or anything else


ANSWER #91 of 109

im sorry ma'am but your stupid ... this is about the convoorsation between your son and his friend... its a can of spraypaint ... trust me 100000000000000000000000000000% ssure I paint lol ,... and stop going behind your kids back you suck


ANSWER #92 of 109

im sorry ma'am but your stupid ... this is about the convoorsation between your son and his friend... its a can of spraypaint ... trust me 100000000000000000000000000000% ssure I paint lol ,... and stop going behind your kids back you suck


ANSWER #93 of 109

Oh joy, I always like trying to help a parent curious for a teens' response. What can I say, times aren't exactly the same as they were when these nowadays parents were teens. Clothing isn't really much of a big deal, most kids dress upon their own individual taste. And then theres the whole 'trying not to judge' the childs friends. You may not be judging and trying your best, but you can still have your worries. Friends can play a role in the newest hobbies of your teens. Since entering high school for me I've got a lot of new friends that may not live up to the potential of the angels I know my mother would just love for me to hang around. They don't always make the right choices but for me I never let anyone else have an influence on what I choose to do and your teen might be like me and know whats right from wrong. As for the the whole 'would I be upset if my parents gave me a drug test' question, I definetly would not be happy about it. 95% of the time [can't say I'm perfect] I will not lie to my parents, and I'm very truthful to the subjects we discuss, I'm already aware they don't believe me but if they were to give me a test it would just be a reminder of how much trust they don't have in me. Your best approach if you decided on giving the test and it came out positive, would be to just stay calm and talk to them like a person, not a child. Anytime I've ever gotten in trouble, I've noticed the people who are calm and not yelling and treat me with repsect as if I'm an adult just like them , it turns out a lot better. Besides if you yell and treat them like they are children then your much more likely to get a response you dont want. I hope I helped. (:


ANSWER #94 of 109

well I mean a lot of teens smoke weed and dont get caught, a lot of kids smoke weed and turn out okay, but also a lot of kids let weed consume their life as soon as they try it.

just watch out for how he smells and if his appetite increses. and uhh if his eyes are red or drewwwpyyy.


ANSWER #95 of 109

Ok I am 13 (yeah I know young) but most of my friends are 3-5 years older because I am very mature. Your kid may be doing drugs and he may not just because he dresses like that and listens to that kind of music DOESNT mean hes on drugs his frinds may be though. I am strong and say no because ill pass on having a sucktastic life from drugs and maybe he is like me but if you think your kid is on drugs test him but what ever you do DONT freak on him even if he is on them be very calm or he will never trust you or he'll feel like he cant come to you. thats the way my parents are and I dont go to them for anything so you should know whats best :) hope I helped


ANSWER #96 of 109

well I wouldn't drug test him because my mom drug tested me and I felt mad and cornered, but if you do decide to drug test him and he fails it, I would try not to get angry because I failed mine and my mom got so angry that she grabbed me by my hair and started slamming my head into the wall so I choked her she called the cops. now I have six months proabtion. things aren't the same between us and to be honest, I have really negative feelings torwards her. all I want to do is get away from her so for your guys's relationship, just try to handle the situation delegate. and for his clothes, he just might be going through a fase because I went through a fase were all I wore was black, but I didnt do drugs or anything. hope that my answered helped


ANSWER #97 of 109

look honestly if you give your kid a drug test he will loath you for it, I am going to say being some one who ironicly owns pretty much all black band shirt (for the simple fact that the only store with good band shirts is hot topic and they only sell black) is 17 and has long hair , that your son has saddly an 80 possobly even 90 percent chance of smoking weed and furthermore just being a teenager today with all the knowledge we have about pot he wouldn't have a much smaller chance even if he didn't do that stereotypical stuff, now there are throngs upon throngs of high as hell teenagers walking around because when we watch our parents, grandparents and uncles esentially spit on us with there eyes for being stoners then go to take there last drag on there ciggarette we see an ignorant, ill informed, dickheaded snob. but atleast in the end there the ones sucking up those precious chemicals and volitile solvents that make them feel oh so... naseated and we can laugh a cheeky little stoner laugh at them while they walk away to live there "big resposable lives". hey if your kid smokes weed think of it this way now I have leverage you can say "ok you can smoke pot somtimes and not in the house as long as you let me random drug test you and make sure thats all your doing" then you'd have a protective upper hand that very few parents get the privaledge of having.


ANSWER #98 of 109

Lay of your kid about smoking he will lose interest with it and the more you bug him the more he will want to rebel to you and he will probly hate you


ANSWER #99 of 109

alright, if your kid is getting high then let him, honestly. im a teenager and I had this same problem with my mom except I dont dress in black and everything, but do not give him a drug test he'll hate you and it will just cause more problems making him want to smoke more and more so dont confront him just let him do what he wants but if his grades are slipping again then you should tell him to straighten up or youll kick him out, that always scares kids but if he knows you used to get high, then that's just an excuse for him to yell back at you. hell understand afterwards and he'll change on his own decision so don't push it on him because that will just make him do everything you tell him not to do


ANSWER #100 of 109

alright, if your kid is getting high then let him, honestly. im a teenager and I had this same problem with my mom except I dont dress in black and everything, but do not give him a drug test he'll hate you and it will just cause more problems making him want to smoke more and more so dont confront him just let him do what he wants but if his grades are slipping again then you should tell him to straighten up or youll kick him out, that always scares kids but if he knows you used to get high, then that's just an excuse for him to yell back at you. hell understand afterwards and he'll change on his own decision so don't push it on him because that will just make him do everything you tell him not to do


ANSWER #101 of 109

black is in rigth now a lot of guys and grls like black like me I like black and skating I have pretty good grades I hang out with kinda skaters but I dont do drugs because if I did I know it'll break my moms heart and I dont want to do that so if my mom told me that she was going to take me to the docter for a drug test I'd be pretty mad because then I would think that sh edoesnt trust me so why try so just try to be cool or else you might lose your son not really lose him but like he'll probably be out more so I hoped this helped :)


ANSWER #102 of 109

Even as I answer this, I'm about to toke. Alright sooo

- Bloodshot eyes
-You open the door and towels are rolled on the crack below it
-Theres dutche guts in his trash can
-You rifle through his shiit and find a bong/bowl etc.
-Eyes darting
-Increased Paranoia
-Secretive ness (but he could just be being a teenager!)
-Can't keep his attention in one place
-Giggles a lot
-Glazed look in his eye
-Razorblades (or he could be cutting, but if they're boxcutters, chances are he's breaking up his coke)
-Increased Appetite / Decreased Appetite
-More energy than normal
-Stays up for hours on end
-Sleeps all day
-Loss of basic motor skills
-Gargh fucck it theres way too many more. just talk to the kid. theres no excuse for not having several talks with your child throughout the years about the "hard" topics: drugs, alcohol, sex, etc.


ANSWER #103 of 109

Look alone does not matter
How he behaves and how his friends behave does matter
Don't let him stay out too long! My mom always has a strong and stable curfew and I have to follow it...or else
Also, I know lots of kids put loads of perfume an cologne on after smoking or doing drugs so their parents won't have a clue...


ANSWER #104 of 109

don't judge, just because they look like stoners doesn't mean they are. check his eyes to see if they're red & smell his breath after he gets back. kids get high a lot, its not like it kills!

do NOT snoop through his stuff, I'm 13 I know when my mom does it.
we know where we left our stuff at last.


ANSWER #105 of 109

If my parents wanted to give me a blood test I would be a bit like, what the hell? But seriously, dont get worried over a few tops. I have ICP and Lamb of god tops and all of that, friends that look abit how you described, but they dont do drugs. Neither do I, but I'm like that too. I wouldnt worry. x


ANSWER #106 of 109

I'm 17 I smoke weed probably 3 times a week during the school year and maintain B average. I'm on the tennis team and a member of several clubs. Most kids try marijuana and its not a big deal. you should tell him that you know what he's going through and he needs to think about his actions. parents make it a much bigger deal then it actually is


ANSWER #107 of 109

I'm 17 I smoke weed probably 3 times a week during the school year and maintain B average. I'm on the tennis team and a member of several clubs. Most kids try marijuana and its not a big deal. you should tell him that you know what he's going through and he needs to think about his actions. parents make it a much bigger deal then it actually is


ANSWER #108 of 109

weed is not a harmful drug, it is better for him than smoking tabacco or drinking, so if he is, be cool, and he wont will be open to u, if he thinks you will be claim and understanding


ANSWER #109 of 109

im 16 and a stoner 90 % of teens smoke weed from time to time and have done their research before trying it and also they don't do it to be cool or anything they do it because its fun with friends and if my parents drug tested me i would be disgusted that they distrust me that much


Add your answer to this list