I'm am seeking a way to try to get my mother to understand she is "the grandmother" not "the mother". She keeps sticking her nose in my business when it comes to me raising and disciplining my children. How do I get her to STOP?
cmw4562 hit the nail on the head. Tell your mom thank you for the great job she did raising you and now it is time for her to trust you in that all you have taken from being raised by your own mother, you will apply to raising your own children. Of course, you may do everything the same and you will have come up some things that work better for you. It isn't necessary to tell your mother this, though. Your mother needs to relax and enjoy being a grandmother. Tell your mother that she helped in making you a GOOD mother and you want her to now be the best grandmother there ever was. I don't feel you should distance your family from your own parents. This will cause lots of unecessary pain. You are the parent now and you have the right to say how you are going to raise you children. If you let your own mother know she is repsonsible for turning you into a good mother, she may be more thankful and attempt to relax more. It also might make it a bit easier for you to explain to her some of the things you want her support on instead of undermining you. As long as your mother doesn't feel like she is being attacked, she might be more open to what you have to say. Good luck and I hope everything turns out great.
I would never Tell My father or Mother or even Aunts and Uncles that they couldn't displine my children if needed, And my parents didn't with me when I was growing up. . . Your Mother is the Matriarch of your family and has the right to direct your child with in reason. instead of being upset with your mother you should be upset with the child for for needing to be disiplined by her. . . when I was a child if one of my grandparents grounded me My parents enforced it.
In a nice way, you need to explain to your mother that she has raised her children and that you have turned out well and now it is her turn to let the reins loose and allow you to raise your children.
Your mother has done her job and now it is your turn to do yours. Tell your mother it is now her job to ENJOY the grandchildren but to leave the worry of raising them to rest on your shoulders.
On one had I do mostly trust my grandparents but I have had to put my foot down in a few areas. You are an adult now, if your grandparents aren't on the same page as you in childrearing than you have to lay down the law. If they are undermining your efforts you may have to distance your family from them until they come around.
LISTEN, I KNOW SHE IS YOUR MOM. BUT, MOMS HELP OR AT LEAST TRY. IT MAY NOT BE THE BEST ADVISE. I THINK EVERY G-MA DOES IT. IT'S WAT THEY DO ...
how old are you???