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i found some pornographic sites my husband had visited, which he thought he deleted. He knows how i feel about that stuff and has promised he would never do that although he's around computers all the time. Now, its not so much that he did it, its that he's lying straight to my face about it. makes me wonder what else he's lied to me about, thats my big concern. i dont feel i can trust him now, though before i felt i could. He's stubborn and i know he wont fess up now. he "swears" he didnt. well he's sworn so many times about other things. any advice?
I am a Christian, so I have to say that I also am against porn. I'll say that up front. But I would like to say that maybe instead of bulling up and getting angry, maybe you should calmly ask him what it is he's getting out of this? Is there something he's wanting you to do that you have refused to do or he is too bashful to ask? Is it just the fantasy of other women? Have you let yourself "go" like all mothers/wifes tend to do from time to time? He is more apt to discuss things with you and be honest if he knows he's not going to be decapitated for doing so. The reason he is stubborn is because he is defensive.
Next, like Dr. Phil sez, you teach people how to treat you. If he's constantly lying to you that is unacceptable behavior and I wouldn't put up with it. I would put out all the facts that you have on any matter at hand. Facts only, not suspicions and tell him what he's telling you just ain't so. No room for arguments, no room for errors that way. He has nowhere to hide then. It's all black and white. Then let him know that you don't appreciate being lied to and that you are more valuable in the relationship than that. If there's something he wants/needs from you, you can't help him if he's unwilling to be honest. Such as with the porn, there needs to be an up side for him in this. Maybe you ditch the granny panties and get a pretty new gown for him? Let him take pictures of you instead?? Dunno, but you are adults and can surely come to a common ground on this. Good luck and don't kill him just yet! :)
tell himm he can swear all he wans to but he is going to get brain damage if keeps on with this and that he is going to be cut from havig sex with you if he does'nt quit it he never do it again see man are drown to all of does blond air heads because they can't have them and into all does things they forget how butiful there own woman are. if you need more help you can email me at kjax2003@msn.com
Generally, the biggest thing I've ever heard about keeping a marriage togeather is forgiveness and faith in one another. But I guess that if you're getting a sence that something is wrong, it has to be coming from somewhere. The best thing to probably do would be to ask him straight about it. And if you're afraid he''ll lie or get mad at you, counselers are wonderful mediators.
F*CK this annoys me sooo much porn and your bf/husbands. Damit they do forget about their own woman and how they are... Tell him to grow up and look at what he has, dont give him any sex for a while and say no im sick of you lying to me ok, now im going to be thinking he is still looking at porn just deleting it and being carefull about it now...
