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My husband tells small lies all the time he is a pathalogical liar and we have separated beacuse of it so I want help to help him to stop it
You have to find out what the root of his lies are. Does he lie because he is trying to avoid conflict and/or confrontation? Does he lie because it is a learned behavior (I.e. parents lied)? Does he lie because growing up it's what he did to protect himself? Does he lie out of fear? Or is he a 'habitual' liar? The best advice I can give is to confront him in a 'non-threatening' way. If the point is to salvage the marriage/relationship and help him overcome his problem, by rubbing him in his lie or getting upset at him, you will only push him away, and teach him by coming forth with his lies he will be punished. Instead provide him with a loving and nurturing environment where he would feel safe to share with you when he lies or to help him provide you the reasons for his lies. Once you do, and once he realizes that he has a 'safe' place to go with the truth, eventually he will start sharing in an open and honest way. It will require a lot of patience, love, and understanding on your part, but if you are a willing partner, you can both achieve this goal. Best of luck!
Don't just ignore the lies. When he lies, call him on it. My husband is also a chronic liar and has always been, I just didn't realize it in the beginning until he would retell a story to someone else and the details would have changed (like what college he attended and for how long and on what scholarship...). At first I told myself that it was just his bad memory. Eventuallly I woke up and faced the facts: he is, has been, and always will be a chronic liar. How do you get him to stop? You don't, something so deeply imbedded in his character is not going to change. You just have to live with it--but on your terms--or leave him. My terms are that when I catch him, which is often, I confront him with the lie. Does it fix anything? No, but it does actually make me feel better.
honey we both no we cant change people, we can help them thats only if they want the help... until he tells you that his sorry for telling little lies and he wants to change for the better just let it go...just give it some time and see what happens
