Why do men lie, my husband is 40 and still lies about everything?

We’ve been together for 15 years but married for 2 years. He lies to me all the time, and I hate it! I don’t mind if my husband goes out with his buddies but here is my problems with the whole thing. One, everytime he’s scheduled to go out he never lets me know “hey I might go and hangout with the fellas tonight do you mind”? He just kind of springs it on me sometimes just a few minutes before he gets picked up or goes out. That drives me crazy! Then when I ask him where he’s going its always the same BS, I don’t know! That’s such a lie…He knows where the hell he’s going he just doesn’t want to tell me. I can always tell where he’s going by wether he takes a shower and put on his going out clothes. When he takes a shower, shaves his Goat-T, and puts on his nice clothes then he’s probably going to somekind of club or event. What the hell!!! If you don’t know where your going why do you need to get so GQ?. He always says he’s going to call me and tell me where he ends up and he never does and you can bet he’s not going to answer his phone while he out as well. This type of behavior is Very Disrespectful To Your WIFE but he doesn’t see it that way. What is he doing? Why can’t he tell me what he’s doing and where he’s going? It just makes me really suspicious of his actions. A wife should know where her husband is and a wife should be able to get in contact with her husband if its an emergency. We have two kids and on several occassions I wasn’t able to get in contact with him and had to take the kids to the hospital while my sister sad with our oldest child…Not COOL! We have been together for a while but farely new in our marriage and we have serious problems. Sometimes I don’t think our marriage is going to make it because the communication is so poor and lies are so ramped. The anger that I have toward him is overwhelming that at times I’ve become physical towards him because I can’t make him stop. The most hurtful is he doesn’t seem to want to. Over the past year I’ve caught him lying about staying in contact with an ex-girlfriend and by staying in contact he went over her house several times and called her almost everyday sometimes several calls made in one day. Can you say I was Boiling HOT with Anger! This was the same girlfriend that he had a relationship with at the same time as me like 13 years ago! Another time a young woman called the phone (we both shared at the time) and asked for him, then when I asked her what she wanted with him because I was his wife she hung up. When I comfronted him he denied it and then she called back and said don’t believe him we’ve been talking. I didn’t know what to do I was so hurt. When it came to the ex he said the most hurtful words I could’ve ever heard from him “She’s my friend and I’ve known her before you , plus she’s easy to talk too! OMG - hurt to my soul, I try to get my husband to open up to me and talk, to do things together as a couple he just seems lost when it comes to communication with me sometimes. Almost like its a chore and he can only do it for a few days before he needs a week to himself to recover. This past Saturday, he said he was hanging out with a buddy (whom I know) and while he was in the shower another called and revealed his true plans. I was livid that he lied he was hanging out with one friend when really he was going to a casino and comedy club with another in another state (only 45 minutes away). When I comfronted him about it he did this whole song and dance about that wasn’t true but he came in at a ridiculous time of 3:41 AM (WHAT - NOT ACCEPTABLE TIME FOR A MARRIED MAN TO COME HOME) and he did hang out in the other state with the chisty friend that had called earlier before he left. I was so mad but all I could do was go to bed and slam the bedroom door which meant don’t bring your ass in here tonight. He also hides things around the house, he has a code on his cell phone vmail, and constantly get up to go in the backroom to talk to his close buddy. My patience is wearing thing and I must say if I catch him doing something with another woman I WILL NOT TAKE HIM BACK. 15 Years, two kids, countless women on top of other BS is pleanty for me. I’ve paid my dues with this FOOL and will not allow anymore women in my life for 2010. Anyone have any suggestions on what to do because whenever the subject is raised I’m always trying to control him? or It’s not his fault that I don’t have friends to hang out with (which isn’t true but everyone knows as the caregiver we can’t always just pick up and on a whim say we’re going out)or my personal favorite Your not my F King Mother and I can go out if I want to do with the guys. I’m just sick of it so if anyone has any hints on what to do I gladly will take the advice. I Love my husband but I know that if he doesn’t change his ways and show me he loves me that I won’t be married to him that long!

Has had enough of massive lies in the great state of MASS

Answer #1

I’m not reading this whole thing. All men dont lie. Your husband does. The reason being you allow it. You continue to accept his lies. It does not happen to all women because they dont allow it.

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