What time is right to tell my 5 yr old my husband is not his dad?

My son is 5 going on 6 in April. My husband and I have been together since I was 8 weeks pregnant with him.. We are stuck in a bad situation, we have NO IDEA how to tell him or what age is right to tell our son that he is not his real father. If anyone else has gone through this please let me know how to deal. We don't want to tell him too young because we are afraid he will not understand, but we don't want to tell him too late because we don't want him to feel rebelious and say; well your not my dad you can't tell me what to do.. My husband loves him and treats as if he were his, he IS his son as far as he's concerned, we have 3 children together and none of them get treated differently. If you have any suggestions can you please lead me in the right direction?

9 answers

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ANSWER #1 of 9

Don't let it go. You need to tell him. My cousin found out at 24 that his father wasn't his real father and was devastated at being lied to. I suggest waiting until he is slightly older and understands about sex and families etc. and then tell him (I would say that that would be around age 9/10)


ANSWER #2 of 9

Tell him when your son has learnt all about families so he undrstands the principals I hope this helps.You dont even have to tell him pretend and act and try to be 100% certain that he is his dad you then wont spoil the realtionship between them.

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ANSWER #3 of 9

when hes some what 10 it all maters if your husband is still living whith you if hes then tell your son when he is 10 that the best I can say. hope it wokes out :)

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ANSWER #4 of 9

dont tell him. your husband is more of a father to him than his real dad. why upset the kid?

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ANSWER #5 of 9

I believe that telling him now is a good idea because if y'all thought him any respect he'll never say that to any one who his loved him and care for him.

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ANSWER #6 of 9

Actually, you're wrong bct91303, BIOLOGICALLY your husband isn't your sons father, but otherwise he is. Your husband is taking part in raising the boy, so he's being a Father to the child, like you said. Just let it go.

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ANSWER #7 of 9

not now...later on when he has more sense and understands the cycle of life. Because im pretty sure hes going to want to know what happened why it happened and when it happened and hes too young to understand that ...when hes around 10 it would be better

The Right Time?
ANSWER #8 of 9

He probably will want to know his real father... Any possibility for him to meet his father? Don't know why, but sth tells me that NO.
Don't tell anything now. He is just so young... He will get upset and confused...
Please wait for a little while more... Let him grows up... Because he is in balance because of his age. 5 year... Would NOT be fair.
Good luck ;)

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ANSWER #9 of 9

my parents told me when I was in 4th grade about my dad not being my real dad.

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