My suicidal thoughts

Hi im a 21 year old guy and through my life I’ve never been a happy person and from the way I’ve been raised I find it very difficult to show any emotions. I’ve always been a really quiet person. I may put on a fake smile for friends but inside it feels like slowly dying. Like im going insane. About to two month ago I decided to take suicide as a serious option as my life is really bad. I’ve got no motivation and enjoy nothing in life. Ever since I’ve thought about it in great detail and prepared for it. I have tried recently to hang myself but I didn’t do it properly resulting in rope burns and a very sore neck and I couldn’t build up the courage to try it again. I don’t want to tell friends as I think it would unfair to put that burden on someone. I think the question is has anyone honestly turned there life round and got through the otherside of this? or how do you live with it?

Answer #1

Thanks again for the replies. I just think my heads messed up. I used to be abit more social than I am now and I had a job but I was never happy. I just don’t see the point in life. I see people going about there everyday life and Im think why do they bother. I hear of all these different ways to help. Like taking tablets but I don’t think they’d help. It would be like a fake happiness. would I be on them for the rest of my life? There no positve feelings inside me just all dark. I really don’t know. Its like having a split personnality were some days Im normal just getting through life and then other days Im telling myself im going to kill myself. I do think meeting a girl and going out would definitely be a positive thing in life but first I’d need to sort out my own life before getting into a relationship. At the moment sex is the last thing on my mind. I honestly could say if I’ll be alive next week. Its just one day at a time and its torture.

Answer #2

I’ve been depressed like this too, but I didn’t try to hang myself, something that made me real sick. Sick enough that I didn’t want to do it again. I’m still depressed though, and what makes me happier is…exercise. Join a gym. You’ll make friends and working out does make you happier. Also, you gotta think about the future, like is there something that you want to do? Is there someone you love? I have no love, and I’ve been told that that makes you happier too. But I just look forward to the future. I’m 18 and I’ll be moving to the city. I’m scared that something will trigger my depression and I’ll be in big trouble, but it’s only a feeling and sooner or later you’ll get over it. Talk to a doctor too, I haven’t and I need to. They might put you on antidepressants, which probably won’t be too bad, but some might. My mom takes those and they help her a lot. You don’t need to kill yourself, I’m sure there is someone that loves you and I know you wouldn’t want to hurt them, right?

Whoa, I typed too much!! Well I hoped I helped even if it was just a little. If you need anything else, or maybe just to vent a little, mail me and I’ll be glad to listen!! Good luck and BE HAPPY!!

Answer #3

I used to be depressed like that too but I couldnt make my self turn to suicide. I was put on to medicene but it didnt work. ot only made it worse. there is a way to get though all of that pain. pray.praying gets you though the darkest times of you life. god will and can help you. just ask him to help you to not be sad anymore. hope you feel better:)

Answer #4

Worldwide

Check out the Befrienders link below. They are not only a suicide hotline but also offer help to people who are stressed or are in a state of depression.

http://www.befrienders.org/support/helplines.asp

(If it’s not an active link, simply copy and paste it into your browser’s address box.)

Answer #5

when I was in 8th grade I felt the same way. I would write notes saying things like, “no one would even cry if I was dead” and everything along those lines. the summer before I went to high school I tried to drown myself while I was on vacation in mexico away from my parents. while I was sitting under the water I had an Epiphany, there has to be something that I was put on earth to do. I havent found it yet, and I still want to hold my head under water, but I do believe I am meant to do something.

you should find something you are really good at and focus on it. I really hope you find some motovation to get up in the morning, and not end your life. because your friends will miss you. it is hard and I believe you can turn you life around and have a genuine smile on your face. its going to take time, but you will one day. <3 Nichole

Answer #6

I really think that I used to be depressed like that . I have had a fairly bad life to. But you just have to work with the cards that you are dealt. I know you really don’t want to die, you just feel like you should in order to be happy. But I wouldn’t recommend that. Just try to count your blessings, at least you have friends; a lot of people don’t have any friends at all and they are lonely and miserable, at least you have a roof over your head and food to eat a lot of kids don’t even have that at all. Try to find something or think of something that makes you happy. Find something that means things to you, that you enjoy doing.

Answer #7

I havent gone through anything like this but my sister has. Shes 18 and its been pretty rough. But she got through it. All I can tell you is conseling works. And I know that you were put on this earth for a reason. Something great and now its up to you to find out what. hey everything happens for a reason.

Fun mail me if you want to talk. Im here. :]

Answer #8

Thanks for the replies it the first time I’ve spoke about it. It just been the last few months thats really got me. Anything I got any enjoyment out of I don’t anymore. I just don’t feel anything anymore. I’d rather be alone. Im sensible enough to avoid alchol and drugs. In fear of what I’ll do to myself. I dunno about conseling. I find it incredible difficult to talk about it.

Answer #9

Ell: When I was younger I used to be really depressed and unmotivated. I thought about suicide, although I never attempted it. I cried myself to sleep every night though, and I slept all the time because if I was asleep I didn’t have to feel so much. Life often throws too much at people. I got out of it though. I started seeing these programs on poor African kids and instead of just thinking well they have it worse, because that never really made me feel better at all, I thought that I kind of had something in common with them, and I knew that I couldn’t fix my shitty life, so I might as well fix someone else’s. I had completely given up on ever having happiness. But then I got into helping over there, I got a job when I was fifteen so that I could sponsor a kid and I decided I wanted to be a teacher in Africa and found a school or something along those lines that would really help but that I would also really enjoy. I’m twenty now and I’m still on the same track, it made me feel better about life though. Shitty things are still impounded on me daily, but I can handle it now, for some reason it’s easier if there are others depending on you to not worry so much about what you would rather not be there. I’m in college and I’m majoring in English and French as well as minoring in anthropology, sociology, and agriculture. I’m going to be in college for a long time, but it’s worth it. So, if you feel that your life is worthless, make someone else’s life better, even if it doesn’t make you feel like it did me, you will still have purpose in your life and will have made someone else’s better.

More Like This
Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Samaprabhan

Therapist, Psychologist, Mental Health

Advisor

Ketamine Treatment California

Medical Services, Mental Health Services, Pain Management

Advisor

Wealthful Mind

Health, Wealth, Relationships

Advisor

Balance 4 Life

Hypnotherapy, Counseling, Therapy

Advisor

HugeDomains

Health and Wellness, Domain Names, E-commerce