how can I deal with my teenage daughter
Well I have 11, 12 and 13 year old girls as well as a 7yo boy and 3yo twins. Yes our home is busy. The 13 year old is extremely difficult. She believes that she knows more than an adult who has been on this earth 3 times longer than her. She believes I should buy her whatever she wants whenever she wants. Do I??? NO!!! Why?? Because she gives no respect and contributes nothing positive to the home. I Believe in instilling a sense of responsibility and the value of a dollar. All my others are learning this and contribute positively and effectively to the home...she however, being the oldest, feels as though she needs to do nothing but deserves much. I am not giving in but it is becoming almost unbearable to be around her. The only time she is nice to me, her father or her siblings is when she wants money or things. But I still am not giving in to it. I remember being her age...I remember the wild hormones. Even so...I never demanded this or that. Yes I was difficult but I still participated with my family...she refuses. She calls all of us losers. I have begun by starving her of money, things, friends and oppurtunities to go out for fun. It is starting to have its desired affect. I have started to ignore her no matter how hard it is when she asks for things and money and she is not quiet she is extremely persistent...even so I ignore her. That is starting to have the desired affect as well. If she wants anything or money she has to work for the money such as watching the twins or mowing the lawn or raking leaves and the like. Also I have found that if you want her to speak with you about things that totally ignoring the subject and not even inquiring actually makes her wish to come and speak to me about it...and if she doesnt then waiting a day or two and asking in a non chalant way brings about answers from her as well. It is EXTREMELY DIFFICULT living with her in the household but our tact is beginning to work. good luck
Yeah well all these kids answering this questiion cracks me up. My 15 year old daughter is a product of all this giving space crap. I gave her all the space she wanted cuz I couldn't stand her creating chaos all the time over everything. She hated me no matter what. Real selfish, snotty and thought she honestly ruled the house. Now, she's decided she's grown and moved out. LOL My house is calm again. Now, she comes back and is a helluva lot more respectful. Especially when they are starving or the lights have been turned off. She really thinks "she's handling it". She hasn't got a clue. But...she won't listen to a thing I say or suggest...so, let her learn the hard way. She's making it hard for herself because she is not grown! She went and jumped in water way over her head and here she is just barely able to dog paddle. But the world according to her? She knows it all!
ok, im 13 fixin to be 14 and i think i could be of some help. Act like her friend and be there for her, try stepping away from the mom role and act like a friend, my mother acts like my friend and talks to me about anything i want, recently i told her i had a boyfriend in another state and she wasnt ok with it at first but then we takled about it and she was ok with it, let your daughter express herself and dress as she wants, dont try and pick out her clothes still like shes 3. give her her space and let her hang out with her friends and dont call her every 10mins to check on her. trust her and dont try and find out everything shes doing, be involved but give her a chance to show responsibility, the more you tell her not to do something or try to stop her, the more she will want to do it. i hope i was of some help to you , hope all goes well ;] x
ok im 13 and i get really annoyed with all the stigma that comes along if someone mentions the word *teenager*
we are normal people with feelings and personalities
if someone is walking down the road and they see a gang of teenagers on the side walk they immediatly think that they are doing something wrong when they are probably just talking and sending songs and stuff off there phone. your daughter probably just needs some space. Maybe shes feeling confused over something.
Dont pester her because that would really tick me off. Let her be and she will come to you when the time is right.
hope this hasnt caused offense to anybody!
Im sorry if you find a 14year old answering this patronizing, but I know what she's going through. Give her her space, obviously don't just let her do what she likes but let her grow up. Treat her like a young adult, not a child, because she's not an adult but she isn't really a child anymore. Don't pry into her life, just let her know that your there for her if she ever wants to talk, I feel far more comfortable telling my mother things if I feel it hasn't been forced out of me. If you don't agree with her clothes/makeup, tell her what you think would go better with that top/skirt. Hope this helps!
I am a teenager and I love my mom even though she gets on my nerves a lot when I was little she told me about things I should face when I would become older so if I were you I would just try to be open with your daughter and tell her that you are here when she needs you.
I am not sure if this will work with your teenager if she/he is into things you aren't but my mom likes some of the stuff I do and some of the stuff I don't.
And when you talk to her/him don't fake it like in those cheesy commercials and/or movies/TV shows.
I hope this helps!
Let me know if it does or doesn't
im a teenage daughter, 16 turning 17 in 2 months. I would suggest letting her do her own thing. dont try to be her best friend, becuase when I just turned 13, all I wanted was to be away from my mom. when you ask her how her day was and she says "fine." and nothing more, leave it be. if she wanted to tell you how her day actually went, she would. give her space. if she wants to talk, shell do it on her own. =) good luck, were fisty at times.
ps. remember that your daughters hormones are raging right now, so she WILL be very moody at times.
ok i m 13 and often dont get along with my mom ok we dont get along at all but thats because she never lets me talk when we have an agurment she just says i did something and im in trouble no room for me to explian so let your daugter say wut she's got on her mind also we like space and love to get to do lots we hate rules we rebel when restriced u need to still give rules but talk about them with her let her make her mistakes and learn from them and we will be in bad moods from time to time the best u could do is leave us alone
whenever she talks back to her take ALL of her clothes out of her room and make her wear the same outfit to school for 4 days in a row, this will knock some sence into the little rat. if that doesnt do it, then remove the door from her room so she has no privacy and play the theme to BARNEY on a loop for a few hours at 10 volume while she copies pages out of the dictionary, make her do the WHOLE THING over if you find any errors
I have a 17 year old who thinks that I don't love her. She has hurt me a lot, moving back and forth from her Dad's house to my house when she gets fed up at either place. I told her the last time that I won't accept her back, but eventually I did. I am having a hard time opeing to her now or telling her that I love her because I am afraid that she will leave again. My heart seem to just close up from all the hurt. Help!!!
What kind of troubles are you having? I have a 17 year-old daughter as well. Luckily, most of the time she's terrific! However, she is still a teenager with her own set of problems. I do try to listen and be open and available for her; I think that has helped out relationship stay so great. If you want to talk more, write back! We can "complain" together. haha
A teenage daughter should be treated as your friend. Be patient and calm while talking to her. Before you could speak, let her speak. Give her a chance to come out. If you are friendly and close to her, the more you can learn and know about her...
if you have been her friend and not a parent for so many years there is no way to deal with them. what you have to do is be her parent let her understand that your her parent not her friend give freedom but not too much and not to little
I don't have a teenager yet, (5 months before the dreaded 13) and I don't have daughters, BUT, I want to say one thing, While being her friend, don't forget to still be the parent.
Wish I could help more, but my oldest is 12. :)
there are three things to give when raisning a teenager: SPACE. BE FLEXIBLE. PAITENCE. let her come 2 u. dont forget to give her love. they secretly crave it.
-a teenage daughter.
give her room and a lot of space to rethink about what she did and what you said
Listen to h er. Make her know her opinion matters.
give her space.