Funadvice Logo

How do I deal with my boyfriend's daughter's manipulative behavior?

Home More advice Kids

I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years and we live together. He has a 4 yr old daughter that I love. She loves me but always has to have her dad's attention. If he is sitting with me on the couch, she jumps on his lap. If he is leaving, he'll kiss her goodbye, when he kisses me goodbye she yells EWWW (normal for a kid). If we are talking, she says "daddy, daddy, look" he'll say "what" and she will have nothing for him to look at so she'll make something up really quick. She's so jealous of our relationship and he doesn't see it at all. He thinks that I'm the one whose jealous. I am a little bit jealous but only because I feel left out. He will as her (a 4 yr old) where she wants to go eat or what she wants to do, then he will tell her to ask me if I want to go with when I'm sitting in the same room as them and can hear the whole conversation. She's 4, him and I should be talking about what we are ALL going to do or where we are going to eat then going there, that's the decision of the adults. Before even talking to me about it, he'll ask her if she wants to go somewhere (in front of me) and then if I don't want to go, they will go without me. It's like they are together in their own world and I'm just an outsider and it doesn't matter if I'm there or not. He is so attentive to me when she's not there but the moment she arrives, it's all about her and I don't exist. I understand that he misses his daughter and I thought that this behavior would pass but it's only getting worse. She will now go as far as trying to sit between us or constantly doing things to get his attention away from me, if she sees us doing something together, she will make sure she stops it. How can I get her to stop this behavior? I can't get the help of my boyfriend because he's too busy wearing his blinders. To top it all off, he feels really guilty and trys extra hard to entertain her this time because supposidly she told her BM that she doesn't want to come here because we "spank" her and are too "strict" on her, we NEVER spank that child! Some advice PLEASE!!!