Who says that a married man can't fall inlove with another woman?

I have fallen head over hills in love with a married man and as much as he sings to me and tells me that he loves me how can it all be a lie?

When we met we had no intention of it going this far,I was coming out of an abusive marriage and he is very unhappy with her from wht I can see. He says he wants a divorce and has been talking to lawyers on what steps to take.They do not have children so I will not be breaking up a happy home but I still feel guilty because someone will still get hurt I just don’t know who.

We have only made love twice and he has brought me back to life not from sex but from the way he sings to me and tells me he loves me and when he kisses me we melt into one another. I have not been happy for the last eight years of my life but I have found it in someone that is committed to someone else for the moment.

How do I let him go? He has taken a genuine interest in my children amd he says things like he will not allow his wife to mess up things between he and I. He makes sure we are taken good care of even thouhg its only been a month and a half he has bought me a car and sings to me and tells me he loves me every chance he gets.

How do I let go of the only happines that I have had in so long? Guilt is killing me for sneaking around but I am so,so happy with him and I don’t know where to go from here,please help all advice is welcomed.

Answer #1

First off, I don’t think you have to let go of your happiness but you do have to be realistic. You say it’s been a month and a half. This is hardly enough time to know if this relationship is all that is promised. The first months are the most intense emotionally, especially if you haven’t felt like this for someone in a long time. It’s not wrong to love someone or feel good with them but you shouldn’t put everything into this relationship until you find out what his true feelings are for you and for his wife. The feelings may be real but that doesn’t mean he is ready for a divorce or to start another serious relationship. Protect yourself and your children by trying to slow things down, take your time and be honest with him. If you are meant to be together, it will happen over time. Enjoy finding someone that has given you wings but remember you are the one that knows how to fly.

Answer #2

First, let’s set aside the starry-eyed romantic language for the time being like ‘’when he kisses me we melt into one another.’’ The adults here are all too jaded to be fooled by it, and the teenagers here are too inexperienced to know what the heck you’re talking about. Let’s keep everything grounded in reality.

That said – ah, the joys of the illicit affair. One of the best relationships I ever had was with a married woman. In retrospect, I figured out why – it wasn’t a real relationship, and neither is yours. I have no doubt that he makes you feel things that you’ve never felt before and you’re happier spending time with him than possibly anyone else you’ve met, and the only reason that is that is the case is because you’re only getting the good parts – hot n’ heavy sex, whispered nothings, glittery promises of a romance stretching on into eternity – and none of the effort, the work, the compromise, the sacrifice, the arguing over the television that goes along with honestly committing your life to someone.

Let’s look at it strictly from a probability standpoint. Is it more likely that you’ve met the one person out of billions who is able to make you feel this way and (tragedy!) he’s married, or that you’re romanticizing something that, in any other circumstance, would evolve into a perfectly normal, pedestrian relationship? No relationship stays in the kiss-melting stage forever, and if you think that this one somehow will beat all odds and remain fresh and tingly for decades to come, you need to take a breath and regain your objectivity.

As for my married girl, I accepted the fact that there was NO possible way that the relationship would not end in heartbreak (even when married people do leave their spouses for their affair, statistically, the relationships are much more likely to end that the original marriage) and continued anyway for the immediate pleasure of it. It ended in heartbreak, and it took years before I was able to look objectively at the entire event and understand that if we had gotten together, it wouldn’t have worked very well. She liked activism for eff’s sake.

Morality aside, if you’re doing this only because you think he is your one and only ticket to happiness, you not only need to end the affair, you should probably think about getting into some therapy to figure out why you tie contentment so closely to relationships. Thinking like that will get you stuck in these situations every time.

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Sex education, Intimacy, Relationship advice