They're are a few different ways, I'll give you the best way. Using tapirs. You can buy them at Hot Topic and Spencer's, but I wouldn't suggest it. They usually arent sized properly and their jewelry is almost always already damaged. You should go tot any tattoo/piercing shop to get them. You dont want to use plastic or acrylic tapirs. They're porous and can adhere to your ears. You want to use glass or metal. You start out with a 14g. You want to wait a week or two between stretches until about 00g and then you want to start waiting longer. The bigger you go the longer you wait between stretches. You can use oils to make the process easier, not that it's hard. :) Oils such as Jojoba oil, emu oil, or vitamin E oil. You can get Emu and Jojoba oils either online or at tattoo shops. Some shops don't carry them. If you have an organic shop in your area you'll find them there. Vitamin E oil, you can get at Wal Mart or Walgreens. It's the cheapest out of all of them too. Any thing else, i'll hepl:) I tried making a How-to on ear stretching, but they're still working on that.
You should buy tapers online (stainless steel and glass are highest recommended because they don't hold bacteria or something like that) The best place to get them is http://funadvice.com/r/155m8d15krk They're really cheap and the quality is excellent. However if you can't then you should go to a tattoo shop (as recommended above) because those guysare professional and will keep your ears in excellent condition.
get tapers from ebay, its crazy cheap :) or http://funadvice.com/r/3k03a5o0rs :D