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Why won't God give me the relationship I want?

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This is really testing me - I am a catholic and totally believe but why is God not giving me this relationship - so many have failed I just want this one please please dont make me go through this again its not fair I cant stand it not andrew I want him back please. lame I know but I am really struggling tonight dont want to close my eyes missing him too much and tears yuk hate this and me so much stop it trying to think of something else but what? made so much progres now slipping back. it was me me me meant to be me em ,e e,me,mnk,bdnejh,bvsdfjhbvfdjhgkgfaslgiayes giykucwaestbowykeutfgbiyu