What's the best way to discipline a 12 year old boy and a 10 year old girl without spanking them? I think I've tried everything like taking away the T.V and other entertainment, not letting them play with their friends, ect but nothing seems to work. Any ideas?
I have to agree with one of the other answers. It is too late to start spanking them. Though, in the same sentence, I disagree with her saying that is NEVER okay to spank a child. She should speak for her own children and not everyone else's. Parents all have their own techniques for raising their children. Some of them are effective and some are not. However at this point, your children are developing their sense of independence. They are at the age where children begin to rebel and resent their parents.
They are probably too old to take the television away but try doing things that will FORCE them to reflect on their behavior. I get inspirational books for my kids.
I have MADE my son watch specials like "Behind Bars". I've even taken my daughter to the jail and one of the Sergeants there made her sit in the cell for a couple of hours while one of the inmates told her how important it is to follow the rules and respect authority.
So, there are many creative and effective ways to get them to comply with your rules of the house.
Good Luck!
No offence to the previous two answers, but I disagree completely. Their is two steps that should be taken. One is punishment, the other is, positive reinforcement. Punishment requires giving something unpleasurable, or removing something pleasurable, as a result to the undesirable behaviour. Punishment can have a lot of consequences, which is why it's important that other actions are taken as well. I can't remember all the other actions that should be taken, except, the punishment should be given as close as possible in time, after the undesirable behaviour; and the punishment should be relevant to the undesirable behaviour: so don't take a childs phone off them when the undesirable behaviour had nothing to do with that. Positive reinforcement involves the awarding of good behaviour. This is another action that helps avoid the negative results of punishment. If you award your childs desired behaviours, then they won't feel like you only notice them when they do bad. I hope this helps
Well first of all here's a good link for help to discipline your children =]
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/6/T060300.asp
-Set positive examples in the way you, the parent, act, and eliminating negative language (such as "don't do that" and changing it to "Why don't you do this instead).
-Instead of focusing on the negativity of discipine, focus on the positive. Instead of taking away entertainment and not letting them play with their friends try rewarding them if they do something good.
-Don't expect these techniques to work on their own. You need to be an active participant in your child's discipline. Sometimes this means just going and turn off the TV if your child won't listen.
That's if you don't already do all of this which I'm probably sure you do =]
Well good luck and try researching some more on the net because there's a lot fo infomation out there. =D
xxx
Dear luv18, Of course you never spank a child...especially when they older children. 10 and 12 are tough ages, they are just getting a sense of Independence. The key is that they feel they have some control over what is happening to them. Children who feel out of control and feel they don't have a say will act out. So giving choices is a great way to start. Of course it depends on what you are having trouble with??? Dr. Phil's books are wonderful with exercises for the whole family. Just remember they feel they have lost control and need to feel in control. Sit down with them and make them a part of choices and consequences. Sue...good luck
When I was younger my parents did 2 things to me. 1. They would give me hot sauce on the tounge ( just one drop ) and some bread on to stop some of the pain. 2. grounding always works. Take away any of there privlages such as computer, phone, any hanging out with friends, desserts and such.
=] I hope I helped kinda sorta.
well do wut you did first. Keep them in there room for a long time. sounds mean, I mean dont torture them, just dont let them do anything fun, like if they ask for something say no. wut really bothers kids tho, if you ignore them, it bothers the hell outt of them. good luck :D
if you need disipline tips , try watching nanny 9-1-1 , the whole show is on disiplining your children without spanking , and try going on google and type in " disipling my children without spanking "
Please be warned that putting hot sauce on a childs tounge is child abuse and you can/will loose your child for this. Sue
my mom just ground us from the thing we like to do best...like I like to go outside she will make me stay inside...it suxs
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