How to make my daughter see that this isn't safe?

I have a 14 year old daughter who doesn’t see the harm in leaving the house after midnight with her best friend while I am in bed asleep. They only went to the park just up the road but they cant understand what the problem is. Is it me or how do I make them understand it is wrong and how do I punish them if at all?.

Answer #1

I used to do stuff like that when I was fourteen too. It’s a hard age. You think you know everything and I sincerely believed that my mom just didn’t understand anything. My best advice to you is just not to give up the communication. Try explaining to her how it made you feel. I think at that age we are in between needing a parent and needing a friend. We want to be treated more like an adult but we don’t yet realize that you have to earn that kind of trust and prove that we are mature enough to take those kind of decisions. She’s testing your limits and her own. Sincerely she probably didn’t men to harm you and of course she can’t imagine how this could put her in danger, she was probably just excited about doing something she knows she shouldn’t do. Well, she got caught, she knows now that she might get caught again so this should keep her quiet for awhile. Like I said talk to her. Don’t just tell her what she can or can not do. Make it more personal so she can understand that when she does stuff like that she is hurting you (unless this is what she wants which is a good question to ask her). Ask her how she feels, why does she need to sneak off when she could just ask to sleep over? As for punishing her well that’s up to you but I know that punishement just made me rebel even more because I felt misunderstood. But maybe if you have a good talk with her and both agree that she should be punished somehow (ex.: no TV for a few days which would also be a great opportunity to spend quality time with her). What’s really important is communicating as much as possible with her that way you know what’s up (ex.: boys might have been involved?). We can’t protect our children all the time and it gets harder as they pull away from us but they always need us to be there, to help them and try to understand them. Good luck!

Answer #2

Punishment, extra attention, all great ideas. I would also say, change her focus. Get her to do some volunteer work. It will build her character, build self esteem, give her a better additude (hopefully), and most importantly give her something else to focus on instead of rebelion.

Answer #3

Well I had bars on my windows and doors locked that only my parents had the keys too… so I dont really know have a solution.., Honestly, when you’re a teenager, it’s hard to picture any harm coming to you, you’re basically invincible and immortal… Punishment is absolutely essential, take away priveleges… money is a good one, the phone, tv, the internet… anything entertaining really… stop her from going out with friends… consequences for her actions are necessary, otherwise what’s to stop her from doing something more dangerous?

Answer #4

don’t let her watch TV or sit on the internet! and you can also lock the doors and the windows at night! and of corse you hide the keys! I’m not yet 14!! …

…I think you should talk to your doughter! and you know, get closer to her! hug her, have fun with her, take her to malls, you can also play together, just try to get close to her as much as you can! cause later on she might start taking your permession in going’ out!! she’d tell you her problems with her friends, and she’d tell you all her secrets!! and at night before she goes to sleep, you can go and ask her question that you want to know about!! cause she is calm at that time!! try it and tell me how it works, k?? :)
hope I helped!

Answer #5

Yes, punish her. I know what I did when I would sneak out at 14 and it wasn’t good. Always think the worst because if you don’t, something bad could happen that you could have prevented. Tell her she can walk out the door at all hours when she’s 18! But don’t yell or scream or any of that. Come to her level, in a soft voice, express your concerns and let her know how it makes you feel when she does it. And if she says that it’s no big deal or whatever, keep calm stick by your concerns. If it continues, call the cops at night and let them know to check out the park and bust the kids. A couple hours in jail will scare you straight!

Answer #6

I remember when I was 14-years-old I was scared to go out past dark (I’m still scared to). Mostly because my parents always told me stories about little girls getting like kidnapped from the park and stuff. I think you need to just educated your daughter about the types of things that could happen. I’m sure there are stories on the internet you can find about girls going missing from the park and things like that, it will worry her. I used to read stories like that in magazines and it scared me so much, I never snuck out.

Answer #7

I would punish her… once she figures out that when she does something like that her “freedom box” will get a lot smaller because she doesn’t realize the danger of going out late at night with her friends. Especially at a young age. I’m 21 and I don’t like being outside in the dark by myself. If it was me… I would actually set up a situation where something bad happens like dressing up as a stranger and going to the park where they are at and freaking them out. But I know that’s not good parenting lol. So I would definately punish her and let her know that it is not okay for her to be out that late. She needs boundaries even though she thinks she knows everything. I would set her down and make her watch news stories and reports about girls her age being abucted… it even happens in the daylight.

Answer #8

well first, how do you know they did this, 2nd, do you let her go out a lot if you dont all she wants is to chill wit friends I can see why u are upset and you r right to punish her so go ahead

Answer #9

I suggest enrolling her in self defense classes and make sure she knows how to take care of herself. I’ve snuck out before but I was 16. I don’t know what your daughter does when she sneaks out soemtimes as in my case it was just to go out (I’d get coffee or just go outside to read) however at 14 there are probably bigger safety risks and I think you should talk to her about. Punishing her outright might not be the best choice but tell her there are consquences for her actions!

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