My daughter is 18 years old and her boyfriend of 4 months is also 18 he doesn't have a drivers license and he is babied at his house, he asks like he is 12 year old, he doesn't want my daughter to talk to any of her friends or even her family, we have always been very close and now our relationship is very rocky. How do I get her to see that he is not the best choice for her, everybody has told her but she does not see it. Help.
The fastest way to drive her further away and into his arms is to try to force your opinion on her. I think you are correct about him, but as ty and most others stated, there isn't much you can do. Watch for signs of abuse, both physical and emotional. Keep a positive outlook, enforce your admiration for her good and strong traits, not just her looks. He is probably starting to criticize her to gain control... you be the strength she needs. Restate that she is smart and strong but don't say it in relation to him. If she works, praise her work ethic. If she babysits, tell her that she is a good example for the children and that the parents are lucky to have a mature, responsible sitter... you get the picture.
You can tell her, but you can't convince her - I'm afraid that's something she's going to need to learn all on her own.
She's 18 now, and as much as you want to protect your 'little girl', you have to understand that she's legally an adult and is allowed to make her own decisions - and her own mistakes.
You don't have to be happy about it, you don't have to accept it, but if you try to intervene, you'll only end up pushing her away.
Just be there for her when she needs you to be.
I agree with the above answers. The more you tell her that you don't agree, the more she'll just keep on doing exactly the opposite that you tell her, especially if you've had a rocky relationship in the past.
So be nice to her boyfriend, then she won't rebel against you. (or it might have the opposite effect and she'll leave him)
pull the same jig as her... if she's actin out and direspecting you do the same and all that stuff and maybe after a while she will wonder why your doing that... and you can rub it in her face that she is... then she will realize what she's doing and who she's with and maybe she will straighten up.
Well...it could be that she sees him a lot differently then you do...I know its strange but its not unheard of...one day she will wake up and see that he is what you said he is.. a loser. Until then..I agree with the other comments don't push her a let her wake up on her own.
Just keep an eye on her, make sure he's not hurting her in any way...
Apart from that, the more you fight her about him, the more you will push her away... back off for now... unless he's physically endangering her, just let it be...
...she'll just have to learn the hard way...
