Why can I not be content?

To an onlooker, my life is ideal in many ways. I have a wonderful girlfriend, a well paid job, a loving family, and many good friends. For some reason, this isn’t enough for me, but I can’t find what’s missing. Please help appease my mind!

Answer #1

Hmmm… I am one of the many who didn’t know what to do with themselves so fell into banking. I work to live (rather living to work) but it’s tough not to become embroiled in the self importance attached to a lot of people’s days there, no matter how much you tell yourself “it’s just a job” you still end up competing with your peers.

To the hypothetical questions… If I worked less I would spend more time reading, watching TV or playing squash, or maybe even consider picking up a new hobby with the extra time. Life without TV would be intriguing, but I’m not one who needs TV or watches it hours every day, and would survive without it (also would enjoy the new found social life not having TVs in the way). I don’t play the guitar, so can’t really answer that one, but I do get out with friends, and go to the cinema etc with my flatmates. The thought of building my own house has crossed my mind, but nothing I’ve really explored, my evenings are spent relaxing as much as possible. I’ve actually just started looking into my ancestry (a few weeks ago) and I’ve got to Belgium, must admit that is fun, but I need to give it more time. I’ve actually never been to the States. I’ve travelled east, and around europe, but never to your fine side of the world. Why Seattle out of interest?

Yeah, depression runs in my family, and I’m sure it’s partially that, I get the odd hours of melancholy alongside it too, but ultimately, whatever it is, I am left empty.

Thanks for your advice by the way, it’s nice to find a person so willing to give advice to a stranger, especially such levelheaded advice.

Answer #2

Your job has become the centre of your life - and when we’re in our twenties we are sometimes fooled into believing that our jobs are indeed the most important things in our lives. Worse, that our occupation, or job, is actually who we are. When we introduce ourselves to others, we define ourselves by what we do.

Then when we get older, we look back and we never seem to be quite satisfied that we worked those long and hard hours just to line our bosses’ pockets and get that gold watch. We realize we could have spent more time with family, lived in a smaller house, didn’t really need a late model car every 5 years.

If you worked 30 or 35 hours a week, instead of 50, how would you want to spend the extra time? What would happen if you rode a bike to work once a week? How would you cope without your TV? Do you know anything about your ancestors? When did you last pick up a guitar and jam with some mates? Have you thought about building your own house instead of buying one? Have you ever been to Seattle?

Or are you maybe depressed? Is the empty feeling accompanied by melancholy?

Answer #3

The feeling of “not having enough” is just a feeling of emptiness, like something is missing, but I can’t figure out what it is. It’s confusion, that I’m a savvy enough guy, but don’t have the thought process to fix my own mind.

I’ve thought about travelling, I have savings for a house, but until I put the deposit down, I don’t have to commit to that.

I try an avoid routine, but the routine of working 50+ hours a week is a grind after a while. I’ve never had time off work since college (I know, only 7 years ago), and considered taking time off, but doing so would just eat in to the savings I’ve worked hard to put together.

Answer #4

It’s not always a bad thing to feel some discontent… it’s what drives us to learn, explore and discover. The easier one’s life is, the less he or she will grow.

If there’s a routine to your life, maybe it’s become monotonous. If you’re in a position to spend a bit of money from that well-paying job, consider taking a risk. Find something you’re passionate about, give yourself some challenges… You are here to experience life and you haven’t seen or done enough yet.

When you say that what you have isn’t enough… what makes you say that? What feelings and thoughts do you have? Be as honest as possible.

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