Why is it that when things should be going really well for me I get incredibly negative and vice versa?

Is it some kind of psychological problem or something? I’ve been wondering this for an extremely long time, I just never really wanted to ask and put it out there, it’s really getting to me now though so why not? Whenever my life is going through the dumps or whatever I tend to be a fairly optimistic person, silver lining and all that jazz and I’m almost content with that. Now, for some reason when my life starts taking a turn that would be considered good by most people my mind just goes into this negative spiral and my paranoia gets worse and it’s almost like I’m not allowing myself to be happy. The closest I’ve found to anyhting that describes me is Self-defeating personality disorder. ( http://funadvice.com/r/3krrrhmio7 ) It’s not spot on, but I can relate to it. I dunno, any insight would be so nice at this point because nothing is making sense for me XD

Answer #1

I’m sorry if this sounds preachy but… Mental disorders are stigmatized and misunderstood left and right; be careful not to stick labels on yourself without a professional consultation!

That said, I think that reaction isn’t all that unusual, particularly if the “good turns” are in the relationship arena. Lots of people, myself very much included, have a hard time internalizing a good situation “just because,” and the paranoia takes hold. Then again, I am not a professional, and I don’t know the details of your life.

Answer #2

Yeah, I know what you mean, the fact that I’m paranoid, is probably causing me to pick out some symptoms and stick them to myself, I definitely know what you mean by that. Thank you very much.

Answer #3

I have to agree there with you - every time I feel everything is going great, smooth sailing - I then start to wonder “Ok nothing bad has happened in like a month, where is realities slap in the face”. Although I don’t have the optimistic outlook when everything goes to hell on me tho :P.

Answer #4

Whoa, first of not a formal diagnosis anyways, lots of controversy around that diagnosis. And lets not be self diagnosing personality disorders. The best sort of explanation I would go with (limited by not having any other facts) is just a mix of fear and negative expectations. Some people are happier being unhappy because they expect life to be that way, and when it’s not, they get very uncomfortable. I’ll give you an example. Women who go through one bad relationship after another. After a while you realize this is the woman picking this terrible guys. And it’s because that’s what she expects relationships to be like. When the guys are good, she is unhappy/paranoid and so she leaves. It could just be how you view life. And then there’s the fear, of things being so good that the bad must be on the way. So you sabotage. Again, the woman who leaves the good guy before he has a chance to leave her (or she does something to make him leave because she cannot accept that he cares about her). And that completely reinforces her beliefs about herself being worthy of being loved, her view of others as loving, and her view of relationships. Same sort of thing when you view life as being harsh and filled with hardships. It’s too difficult to believe when things are good.

Answer #5

Oh and btw, understanding why it is does not really help. Now that you are aware of the fact that you are doing it, means you can change it. Whether there’s a formal label for what you’re doing or not, it doesnt mean that things dont have to change.

Answer #6

Ty said , “Now that you are aware of the fact that you are doing it, means you can change it.” Welp, that’s kind of the thing about mental disorders… Just because something is “in your head” doesn’t mean it’s not a legitimate issue that you are only partially in control of and could need help with.

Cassie, if you feel this is really affecting your life, please contact a professional! And do not, ever, feel guilty about being unable to stop yourself from engaging certain behaviors that you feel you should stop engaging in. It’s not always possible, and that’s not your fault.

Answer #7

I think Ty is partially right with what she said. At least I can try to change eh? Heh, I can’t see myself contacting a professional any time soon, I’m not into doctors and such. It’s kind of affecting my relationship with a friend of mine at the moment, but the man seems to have the patience of a saint. I think he’s helping me a little right now, and I’ll take that and see where it gets me. Well, I’ll try to anyways.

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