Funadvice Logo
Explore Join
More Love & Relationships Questions

Who is to blame for this affair?

My unmarried girlfriend has been having an affair with a married man. They were high school sweethearts who met up at a class reunion. Although the feelings from 30 years ago have made her feel great, she has also felt extreme guilt towards his wife and family. He has drawn her in by saying she was the one he always wanted, she was the one he wishes he was with, etc. She finally took a stand and cancelled a trip that she was suppose to take to meet him. I am glad she finally took the first step to end this, but there are still the phone calls, emails, etc. which is still causing this to be an emotional affair. She is the one depressed and feeling sick over what has gone on and I really don’t think he is as upset over what he has done to his family as he is over the fact of not being with her again. She seems to be taking all the blame on herself, but I think he is the married man, he should of been the one who said “No” in the beginning. I’m not saying she is innocent, but I strongly feel that as the MARRIED person in this affair, he is more to blame. What do you think?

Become an Expert →
Answer #1

its neither of there fault but its more to blame on him because he is doing it not careing she is doing it but wanting to rethink it

Answer #2

I read the question. Then I read it again just to be sure. Nope, you do not play any part in this situation, at least as far as you have told us. So I fail to see how this is any of your business.

It’s fine to care for the well-being of your friend, and if she asks your advice, feel free to give it. But sitting back, clucking your tongue and assigning blame to an emotionally charged affair in which you are not involved is the role of the meddler, the sitcom neighbor who peers out her blinds every time the family across the street receives visitors.

Do your friend a favor and stop airing her personal business to strangers on the Internet. Keep your thoughts regarding your friend’s sex life to yourself.

More Like This
Advisor

Love & Relationships

Dating, Marriage, Breakups

Ask an advisor one-on-one!
Advisor

Victoria Milan

Dating Services, Relationship Counseling, Marriage Counseling