I cut myself for the first time a couple months ago. I'm going to a counselor now because my dad feels I need one. I went because of bullying and at home drama and problems. Me causing both because things just haven't been the same since my mom died. I love my dad. He is actually cool but I get mad easily at him. I don't know why. I want to get a better relationship with my dad. I'm worthless and always screw things up. I cut because it felt better and released the tension and made me feel better. The cuts I did a few months ago healed and I have bigger problems now. Yesterday morning I cut my leg and it wouldn't stop bleeding. I asked my dad what I should do. I told him I scratched myself with my nail. I told my dad what actually happened last night. He was really concerned. I could see it in his eyes. He told me to not do it anymore and to know that I am loved and more. I cut at least three inches on my arm. Smaller cuts so they wouldn't be that noticeable. I just cut until I saw the blood come out. I put a napkin over it to clean up. It was burning very much. My dad saw me putting cream over it and asked me what happened. Of course he was scared when he saw the scars because of what I told him last night. I told him I scratched myself on a nail sticking out from a few months ago that were bothering me now, by accident. He told me that was too many scratches to be an accident. Before the cream I put peroxide on the sores that made them swell up. He said it looked like a rash because it was red and of the texture. My dad is now worried about me.
I also scratched my upper thigh.
The ones on my arm burn rather bad.
I'm 13 btw. What should I do? Serious answers please. I'm just really depressed
Cutting or self-mutilation is a fairly common, if primitive, way to relieve stress, as you have found. It causes the release of endorphins which will temporarily let you feel less stressed. It is a short-term 'band aid' that doesn't last.
It is very important that you can talk about this with your Dad. I am positive that your Dad loves you very much, but he is not trained to help you overcome your problems. You should get professional help. I am sure that your Dad will go with you and be understanding. After all, he is also suffering the loss of his wife.
You are in school so you can seek help through the school guidance counsellor or school nurse.
The pain and chaos you feel is to be expected after what you have been through. A professional can help you understand and overcome these feelings. Your Mom dying set off a spiral that needs help.
Things might seem bad now but they WILL get better. Trust your dad and spend time in his company. He will not mislead you. If it is tough to talk about things he is MORE than willing to listen to you and be with you when you need him.