poem I wrote. free verse

A free verse poem, comments and advice please!!

The First Shooting Star

I was about 13, a growing young girl It sparkled in the sky, It shot like a missile through the dark. Streaking the night sky, like fresh brush strokes on a canvas, It was something new. The first shooting star I saw, I was speechless, It cast a memory I will never forget, And like the obligation I had, I made a wish And on my first shooting star, I wished for you.

Answer #1

thats really good. whoever thats for is really going to enjoy that. (if its for anyone)

Answer #2

That’s actually realllyyy good :D I like the stroke on the canvas part I would have never thought of that ;) x

Answer #3

I think that’s really good. Is it describing your experience? ‘Cause if so, it’s awesome. It’s awesome anyway. Lol, I like all te metaphors and similies.

If your looking for constructive critisiscim, I’d advise you not to use the word ‘sky’ twice, and so close together.

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