Should I be sad?

Everyone grives differently - you said it youself that your dad was not there much. It could take time for it to hit you then - since your not even used to being around him.

People experiences and reactions are very different - I’m sure inside you’re sad, though distant, your only Dad - prayer really helps me, Take care !!

When my best friend died I felt stunned at first but not freaked out sad like everyone around me. I felt guilty that I didn’t feel more upset. He was my best friend so why didn’t I feel sad? Mostly I felt a secret sense of relief because some elaborate lies I told died with him. I was terrified someone would ask him about things I had said about him. I had built him up and said he did heroic kind of stuff and I didn’t even know why I said those things. Almost a year went by and I was in the mall looking at stuff when this lady smiled and said hello. My chest felt tight. I wanted out of that mall…fast. I could see in my mind the last time we had been in that mall together. I didn’t get far before I lost it completely. People stared at me. I had never cried that hard in my life. Here it was almost a full year after and all the things I thought I should have felt were now flooding me out of friggin nowhere for no reason! I cried for weeks after that. Except for that year, I never felt at peace with his death. It was a strange delayed response. His death changed me in significant ways. It changed my life. Just because you aren’t feeling it now doesn’t make you cold or bad. It may be many years before it hits you. It may be a few days. You may be old with grandkids but you will have those emotions come to the surface and it will happen at a time that will embarras you the most. I’m ok with messages if u need to contact me.