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Ok, poetry does not necessarily have to follow specific guidelines, and I obviously have not...This is truly my thoughts without effort of sounding good or looking good so I am curious if it makes sense and what you think of it. Im not done and dont worry I can take criticism because like I said- these are my thoughts/feelings and they dont always look good...please be honest
She wanders aimlessly in her mind Trying to find the place where she feels good enough She searches for the place she feels pretty enough
She cowers away from contact All the while she is desperate for the connection She balances herself between utter depression and hope
They watch as she tries to belong, but doesn’t quite fit She is the filler for their occasional space
It's very blunt...
I think very straight forward...
Your telling me exactly what you feel and that where the problem lies.
I hate to be the one to give a negative critiscm not because I hate it.NOOO!!
I love it and I love you for writing it.But I think you could find other words to explain your poetry.
Take this poem you just wrote sit down and think about other ways to write it.Start from those exact words.It's obvious that this poem is about not fitting in with the social crowd.
The subject doesn't have to be a She or a person as a matter of fact.Everything you can change BUT the true message behind it.
My advice is don't make it too obvious...it's the mystery that makes it an art and the message that echoes in the heart.
Okay once again I Hope to read more soon...and GREAT WORK!!(:-)
wow! thanks so much guys! I know Im pretty weird so its hard to tell if it makes sense sometimes. its crazy you said its 'what a lot of people feel' because often times it feels like we are the only ones feeling a certain way and that nobody understands. so thank you!
Wow! this is really good! I write poetry on my own and I think that this is really good! and it dosent matter if it dosen't ryme, because there is no rules for poetry! Good Job! :)
not negative at all! thanks so much. I truly appreciate it! I too like the mystery of poetry- I like when things are not obviously stated. you are so right on!
good job!:) I write poetry also and it relates to me, it captures what a lot of people feel...it's real...I love it!
