Need help with soon to be mother in law

Everything jane said is right. And you will have to reconcile with her because lets face it, you will have to face her for the rest of your life. Either you two can stay mad and make family time a living hell or you can make up and make family time special. When you get married you don't just marry your spouse. You marry their whole family as well.

IF you don’t FEEL LIKE FOLLOWING THE OTHER ADVISE MOVE FAR AWAY . AND COME VISITED ONCE A YEAR

LIKE THEY SAY GRANDLAW are LIKE STAR THE MORE FAR WAY THEY are THE BETTER THEY SHINE

Take a deep breath! A lot of people have this problem. Some people just won’t like you, no matter how much you try. You should always be poilite, but realize that this woman will never be your friend. She seems immature, and if you can’t tell your fiance’ about your feelings, how do you think that will affect your relationship.
You should be open and honest. He has a right to be frustrated, that’s his mom–but he should also realize that SHE doesn’t like YOU. You could also try to tell her how your feeling–even if she tells your husband-to-be. Be curt–not hostile, and tell her very cleary that it hurt you when she told your son that. Maybe she was only being considerate.

-Psy.

YOur mother-in-law is not your friend. You can be friendly with her but not real close friends. The problems you have with your love are between you and him. Don't involve your girlfriends, sisters, etc… If you have a problem with him tell him. TAlk to him. Explain things to him. Your relationship is special with him. Your mother in law is your man's MOM. SHe is be his first love. She will protect him and love him in a different way. When you become one a man and woman leave their mother's and become their own family. You have to leave her our of your new family. Visit your mother-in-law. Talk about the weather, the new TV show about what she likes but NOT, Never, never about your personal life with her child. Good luck.

How is the mother in law thing going? LOL!

bride to b, did you really think that she WOULDNT go back and talk to him. think about it. thats his mother she is suppose to tell him if somebody talks about her son. I know my mother better tell me if my husband comes to her and talks about me (wether it be good or bad)!!

Dear Bride To Be,

First of all, Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials! Also, congratulations on having a wonderful relationship with your fiance. Instead of talking out issues involving your relationship with another person, it’s best to try to resolve relationship problems directly with your fiance. If you can’t talk to him now in the bloom of almost wedded bliss, you’re going to have serious problems down the road. I suggest pre marital counseling to remove all roadblocks to clear and heartfelt communication between you and your fiance. You shouldn’t have to go to an outside source to seek resolution for your feelings about your relationship. The mistake you made in going to your mother in law for this need, was entirely understandable, you acted a little prematurely, but it was a natural assumption to think she’d be a good person to talk to about him, and speaks to your good nature to attempt to bond with your new mother in law. In the future you will know that you cannot confide in her and expect her to keep it to herself, and realise that essentially she is on his side and always will be, and furthermore she is not very interested in having a close, confidential relationship with you and made no attempts at hiding her feelings. Treat her as an acquaintance, a polite family acquaintance. Her allegiance is to him, and her relationship with him. Perhaps the next time you or she calls eachother’s home, you can politely and in a restrained manner bring up your feelings about her telling him about your conversation. Maybe you can start a pleasant conversation, about a member of the family, or a family event, or a family relationship, or somehow segway about family communication, and then say, something like “ you know, it did bother me when you told (fiance’s name here), about our conversation, and it all worked out because it made me realise I should have just been talking to him in the first place, but that did hurt my feelings” It sounds like you have real feelings of anger and betrayal about this, and you may very well need to communicate that with her. Don’t worry about ruining your relationship with her because she obviously didn’t care about ruining it in the first place. If she’s a distant ice-witch type of person, then that’s fine, tell her your feelings, usually people like that will stomp all over someone who’s nice, but will respect someone who’s tough and stands up for themselves. Always be wary of her, always, she’s backstabbing, manipulative, sneaky and doesn’t really care about you, and/or cares more about her son and her relationship with him than the primary relationshp of his life, which is with you his future wife. Keep her at arms length, beware of confiding in her daughters, sisters and other close relatives of hers because they’re probably just like her, and will probably jump at the chance to talk about someone behind their back. So be nice, be polite, be kind, be a good wife, mother and person, but always keep her at arms length, she sounds like trouble. But again, Congratulations on finding a wonderful man, and explain to him that his primary relationship in his life, is with YOU, not his mother, because soon, you’ll be the mother and she’ll be the grandma, the relationship here is between you two, not him and her, and if he wants it to be with her, then you can go find a man who is more able to cut the apron strings. Good Luck Honey, you’re gonna be fine.

                        Sincerely, Katrina Kinhelp

Maybe youshould find out just where you are going to stand after you are married. If I were you I would not tell her anything that is private again but still be nice to her and remember she IS his Mother…Make sure you are not marrying a ‘Momma’s boy’ and make your life miserable…and DO NOT LIVE CLOSE TO HER if you do marry, she will only cause you problems. Be nice and sweet to her but keep up your guard…many things that are said can be misconstrued, make sure you are clear on EVERYTHING you say to her…hope this helps.

I talk to my boyfriend’s mom about things that happen between us sometimes but only when she asks how I am since I wear my heart on my sleeve. Whenever I ask her not to, she don’t go behind my back to my boyfriend and tell him what I told her. Anyway I also strongly disagree with sikashimmer. A relationship and a marriage is between two people– no one else. You don’t marry their family, marriage is about love between two people not between two families. Though it does connect the two families to a degree, a marriage is between two people and two people only.