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love poem (neeed your opinion)

I’ve been very bored at home and I have decided to make my girlfriend a love poem and I just want to see what other people think of it. will it make her feel loved :)

On the night I met you, My heart stoped beating, It froze with with desire, At what I was seeing.

When I’m with you I will not cry even a single a tear, And your touch have chased away all of my fear, You have given me a life that I could live worthwhile, It is even better everytime you smile.

The moment I opened my heart and let you in, I saw this great love starting to begin, I opened my eyes to a vision of you, I hope, I pray your feelings are true.

I miss your voice, I miss your touch, And I miss the face, That I love so much.

I wish I could talk ‘til the end of day, But now I’m running out of things to say, So I’ll end by the line you already know, I LOVE YOU more than what I could show.

The only thing I have left to say, Is how much I want you with me each and every day, Its like I’ve found a love thats new, But one things is obvious and that is that I LOVE YOU.

x amelia x

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Answer #1

if myy boyfriend gave me that I think id cryy. it is soo sweet.

Answer #2

OH MY GOSH!! that’s soo sweet ave read loads of poems at school but seriously this one is by far the best it made me shed a few tears! it made me think about how much I love my boyfriend and I think your girlfriend will love it! hope I helped!

Answer #3

I think that is very sweet I’m sure your girlfriend would love to get that from you.. I always love when guys show that they love you in different ways… That is a really good poem!

Answer #4

Do you mind a few minor corrections/edits? I noticed you’ve duplicated “with” twice in your first verse, 3rd line. “It froze with with desire,”

If you remove “even” from beginning of your next verse, it flows better. “When I’m with you I will not cry a single a tear”

Next line, replace “have” with “has” (proper grammar) & make fear plural (fears) “And your touch has chased away all of my fears”

You’ve written a gorgeous poem - any woman would appreciate all the love & effort you have put into it. It’s a very rare thing to have a guy write a poem to his girl. Good for you, she’ll love it!

Good luck to you both! I hope you’ll always be happy! :)

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