I Miss My Ex

I am 30 and my ex-boyfriend will be 25 next month. We had a relationship that ended last week. We were together for 2 years and lived together over a year. This guy couldn’t have been better to me or loved me more but started to change in the past three months. He used to smoke pot but quit while we were together. He ONLY smoked pot and nothing else. One weekend he blew up at me and told me he wanted to start smoking again. He told me that I was trying to change who he was and it wasn’t right of me to do that. I told him that if it upset him so much that he should go ahead and smoke again. I personally don’t do that but wasn’t going to judge him for it. Well, he started hanging out with other people that smoked and did worse. He became friends with guys from work and he wouldn’t introduce me to them. He started wanting to hang out with them A LOT. Our sex life went from absolutely incredible to non-existent. Suddenly last week, he told me he wanted to break up. He told me that I deserved better than what he was putting me through because he became so distant. He moved out of the house. He cried a lot while he was moving. At one point he grabbed me and wouldn’t let me go. He was in the same shape I was. He even called me friend and cried to her. He told her to come and check on me. She asked him how he was doing and she said he broke down. He called me for the next 4 days. He called me twice a day. He told me he loved me and missed me and didn’t know what he wanted right now. Well, he didn’t call me all weekend even though he asked me out on a date for Sunday. I found out yesterday that he was with another girl all weekend and had slept with her. When I confronted him with it, he denied he slept with her and made up a bunch of lies about why he didn’t call me. I called him later that night just to try to get some answers because I was so shocked this was the same person I was in love with. He told me he loved me and will always love me but wanted time with his friends before he was too old (whatever that means). He told me that he knew what he gave up and wanted me to be happy. He said that he would miss me and he couldn’t even listen to certain songs on the radio anymore because they remind him of me. He said he wanted to get his own place and live on his own for awhile. I asked him if he wanted to be with this new girl and he repeated that he wanted to be on his own because he has never been able to do that. Was she just a fling for him? I just wonder if I should wait to see if this “space” will give him a chance to see how much I meant to him or should I just go on with my life. I guess I kinda know the answer to that but I need to hear suggestions from others. I love him more than I have ever loved anyone. He has told me the same in the past. I just want to give him a second chance but not sure how to do it because we aren’t talking right now. His family is completed floored by how he is living right now. His mother and grandmother have consoled me and love me so much because I was so good for him. They tell me that I was the only girl they had seen him cry over or that he straightened up for. I just have so much faith that he is a good person inside with a good heart. I do know that he loves me but can I compete with drugs, friends and other girls? I just need some help here because he has broken my heart like nobody else could have. Should I make a move to tell him that I’m willing to give him a second chance if he wants it or do I wait and see if he comes to me? Do I even want anything to do with him anymore? Can someone give me some advice here? Thanks!

Answer #1

if u feel so strongly 4 him, then yes, ask him if he wants to get bac together. only accept a yes or no answer, but be quite clear that he must stop smokin pot-that seemed to be the main reason 4 u breakin up. if he says crap like u deserve better, say the best was wiv u wivout pot. if he says, i dunno, give him aweek to think about it. if he says no, give up on him-he has to call u if he wants to get bac together. u cant be seen to look easy, but do try as u r obviously heartbroken. seriously, i wish the best of luc.

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