How many of you feel it very difficult to take when someone closely related to you dies? Like your parents or close friends. How many of you accept with me that death is the most scariest thing in the world. Please share your experiences
Ten years ago my precious younger sister was murdered in Los Angeles. Her killer has yet to be found (if they're even still looking) It was devastating to say the least. She left a son who was only eight at the time. I think violent death (she was stabbed 15 times) made it especially scary. We found it very difficult, imagining what her final minutes must have been like. Apparently, she put up a valiant fight.
Rhonda was a beautiful girl with a big heart, terrific sense of humor, and a love that extended outwards towards everybody. I often think of her in "happy times" With time the pain of losing her has lessened (mercifully) I feel that a big reason for this is that we (family and many friends) believe in a "here after" There isn't a doubt in my mind that I will see her and be able to love her forever. She herself was afraid of death until she had a "near death" experience. I'll tell you a story of how it happened.
My mother and Rhonda were in my father's house in Iran one afternoon taking a sauna when suddenly they realized the door handle was missing. My father had gone out of the country on business and warned his household help that no one should use the sauna until the handle was placed on the inside and the thermostat repaired.
The message never reached my mother or sister as the help left for "day off" and they had a house key they used for what was supposed to be a relaxing experience. Well, the temperature continued to climb and the door opened inwards with nothing to get a grip on. The door was flush with the paneling. As they began to lose air and their body temperature's compensated (they were losing fluids fast), my sister cried, we're going to die in here. My mother remembered an old adage. "A man who's destined to drown, will not hang." to which Rhonda said, "oh yeah, well how do we know that we're not destined to die in a sauna in Daddy's house?" She didn't even know when she was funny that it was cute. Obviously they were rescued. Dad just happened to catch an earlier flight back from his trip than he had planned. He said "something" told him to. Anyway, the sauna was sound proof, but "something" told him to go upstairs and see if there was anybody in the house. The doctors rehydrate d their systems and they were good to go, but they did say that they were rescued with little time to spare. After that, my mother and sister both had a renewed "Joie de-vivre" (joy of life)
If you live your life in fear of death then you never really enjoy the "here and now" or even your tomorrows. How do I feel about everybody it has been my privilege to know (that has passed on?) ... I would have to say grateful and blessed to have had them in my life, but delighted to know; we will meet again. All blessings
My Nanny (grandma not the babysitter person) went in the hospital with a broken hip when I was in eighth grade. She was constantly in there because of her lung with smoking or a broken bone, but she would always recover quickly and that was what we expected to happen, but the doctors said that the hip was the least of our worries because she was very ill and was not going to last long. Everyone is really close to my Nanny so this was really difficult to hear. On Christmas my entire extended family spent the day at the hospital saying our goodbyes. My mom never brought me to see her after that because she was looking worse each day and my Mom wanted me to remember in the best way possible. The day before new year's eve my mom woke me and before she said anything I somehow knew what was coming and she told me that my Nanny died. Even worse, my cousin had just come out of a coma when this happened and no one had the heart to tell her for a few months even though she constantly about Nanny because no one wanted to effect her recovery. Plus, I had health that marking period in school and all they talked about was smoking and people who have almost died from it and stopped afterward(my Nanny died from her smoking after many experiences in which we thought she was going to stop) I barely made it through that class. Then, we found a letter in her room that she had written to the entire family before she died but never gave us and it said how much she loved each of us as though she knew she was going to die. No one made it through the letter without crying. Now, it is 2 and a half years later and my family still swears that she's with us spiritually and that whenever something weird happens it is her. I still can't think about her for more than five seconds without crying which yes means I am crying now. I still always want her to be at all of my special event, but I accepted that she's watching me from heaven. Anyway it's really hard to deal with because I loved her so much. Sorry this so long
My father died a few months ago, and my mother died about a year before that. It is very hard to lose someone you loved. I feel very sad when I think of them. But I try to remember the parts of them that live on in me, the things they worked for their whole lives, my father's sense of humor, my mother's dedication to family. I try to live the very best of what they were as people every day, kind of a living memorial to them, and that helps lessen the pain.
When I was much younger I lost a grandfather that I loved very much and became depressed for a long time. It helped to talk to friends and family, but it hurt for a long time. But after many months passed I was able to think of grandpa Bill, remember our good times together, and not feel so bad that he was gone.
Please know also, that everyone reacts differently to loss, and you may react differently due to circumstances you find yourself in. When my mom died I had been with her at her side for many hours holding her hand and talking to her, telling her how much I loved her and how much she meant to me. When she died I didn't need to cry as much, and wasn't as sad as I thought I would be. Perhaps being with her near the end of her life, spending that special time, helped me more than I could have imagined. I didn't have that opportunity when my father died, since he was a long way away from where I live and passed before I could get to him. His death has given me more sadness, even though I was probably closer to my mother most of my life. So circumstances may affect the way you feel and how you mourn.
It may help to talk to people in person about your feelings of loss, but it also may help to do something very positive and know in your heart that you are doing it in memory of the one you lost, perhaps volunteering to help others.
I hope you have found this somewhat helpful. My condolences for your loss.
Death is the scariest thing in the world, I agree but it shouldnt be.
You must love your mother very much, don't be afraid and just let down all of your emotional barriers and let go. There are no magic words that can make everything better for you. There are just emotions and feelings that your body needs to experiance in order to let go. Feel free to funmail me, I would love to hear more, you will do well in honoring her. I can however tell you that after my father passed away I found it was nice to talk to G-d as though he were a friend. Just telling him stories I felt closer to my dad, everytime I feel bad thats how I handle it. G-d bless.
When my grandpa died, I cried my eyes out and was very sad and scared for about 2 weeks. I still get sad! I was soo scared that I slept w/ my parents at night. I also barely ate or drank anything too. I also felt that his death was kind of my fault since I was not there and the night when he died is when I left his house from spending the night the whole week.
My grandmother, and uncle died last week, I started listening to John Mraz "I'm Yours". Just seemed so comforting at the time.
It pretty much sucks, and you never get over it.