How do you feel about religious restrictions coming in the way of someone getting help?

So i have this friend lets just name her x she is somali so today she opened up to me about her like she told me how im her first friend and her mother died from cancer when she was 14 her current age is 16. She isnt allowed to go out or do anything at all no laptop, phone, even a walk in the park. Shes well a person who cuts herself after her mothers death. I tried to help her because ive been through that phase except everyone in my fam is pretty much well alive and im hindu. I was telling her that she should tell her dad and brother about her cutting and she got terrified and replied No they would kill me or kick me out of the house, im muslim its a sin and all, i said well ye i get it but you need help your dad has to realize that before you come to the point where you die he needs to help you and btw shes a cutting addict, she was like you dont know my dad or brother They curse at the tv when something about gay people having rights is on they say ew and they curse at it. I was just so shocked i mean she needs help but rather then relying on her family to get her that help shes getting terrified to death about it because its against her religion, well is a religion greater then a person life? what are your views on it ?

Answer #1

Well for your friend tell her to try to find help from an outside source(like some sort of counseling that her dad and brother wouldn’t find out about). As for the whole is religion greater than a person I think completely depends on the person. For example some peopl devote their lives to their beliefs, while others(like me) have faith but if we were put into a situation like that would probably pick our own needs over what is considered right/wrong in the eyes of whatever religion we believe in.

Answer #2

You can try to be there for her, try to be part of her healing process. Just because sometimes if you tell someone it’s a “safety” thing, so at some point I do think that her dad will end up knowing about it. You can try to meaby help her out by, removing cutting tools from her, helping her find other ways to cope, like using a rubber band, wrighting, going for a run, punching a wall, and stuff like that. Talk to her everyday and try your best to just be there for her so she has somebody there for her and does not feel like cutting as an only pain reliever. You can’t make her stop, but you can try your best to do so.

Answer #3

This is part of the reason religion p1sses me off.

In no way should religion ever mean you should have to suffer through something that you could easily get help for.

Answer #4


Answer #5

I think that its sad that people still rely purely on faith for help. I remember the joke where a guy’s boat was sinking and another boat, a ship and a helicopter came to save him and he told them “don’t worry, my God will save me”. Anyway he died and actually went to heaven and complained to God about not saving him. God told him “but I sent u a boat and then a ship and then even a helicopter”. Its hard to comprehend that people believe a book written by man (inspired by God) but help must come from God himself. Like I said. Sad!!!

Answer #6

This has less to do with religious restrictions and more to do with cultural beliefs. Also, bottom line is, she’s just terrified of what her dad will think of her. The majority of the teen cutters I know or worked with never voluntarily revealed to their parents, religion or no religion. She probably comes from a pretty traditional family which you really have to be raised in to understand how it works. Mental health is a taboo subject in many cultures, and is little understood in most of them. You’re targeting the wrong thing here. This has nothing to do with her religion. She is just plain scared. Now, whether she is right about how her father will react (no i dont think he’ll actually kill her), who knows. She may be right and he may not react in a way you’d think is appropriate. I’ve worked with kids of all ethnic backgrounds who were cutters, and some of their parents reacted in the most idiotic ways possible (one’s parent actually hit him). You may not be able to get her counseling without parental approval as long as she is underage. The solution isnt obvious unfortunately. I would encourage getting some sort of adult involved, if not her father, than a relative, or school counselor, etc.

Answer #7

exactly what i know my family would do and i really hope her family would too

Answer #8

exacty, it is sad.

Answer #9

yeah, I told her from now on she shold try to stop i gave her the rubber band and the free shrink ideas i said ill take her with me when i find one, for now im just trying to be there for her i told her to call me whenever she wants to.

Answer #10

what religion is this?

Answer #11

Can I please say that thats culture and not religion. Please know the difference. Islam would encourage her to get help in this situation.

Answer #12

Im not the one saying it she is saying it herself, nor am i trying to have a religious war im trying to help my friend, in need, out.

Answer #13

I do not know about religon, or culture it sounds more to me like sick people acting like sick people, cursing at the TV, the girl is having problems that may or may not be related to her mother’s death. Soum culturs cut them selves out in times of greef. The law of moses forbid this pratice, and I can see Islam doing the same. But if this probually not the same. I just feel that it is not. I think that the girl needs help, and any way she can get it, is there some one at school? Is there a claric that she could talk to who would listen, a female faimly member?

Answer #14

yeah ive called up a shrink and made an appointment for her so she could get some help, meanwhile ill be there for her as much as possible, cuz no female family mems she told her couzin all they said is stop they didnt even care much so yeah

Answer #15

This makes me so incredibly sad. :( Religion is one of the forces that stigmatizes mental health issues and discourages people from getting help. I wish, with all my heart, that we lived in a world where people could openly admit that they need help, and get help, without being labelled “crazy” or “weird” or being punished by their religious leaders or family.

Depression and other mental illnesses are part of the human condition and they’re nothing to be ashamed of, any more than love or sadness or other human emotions are anything to be ashamed of. I wish someone had told me, when I was a teenager struggling with depression and cutting, that there was nothing wrong with me and I just needed some help, like a sick person needs medicine. I thought that I was “insane” and I was terrified to tell anyone because I thought I’d be locked up in an institution. I thought I was broken and could never be fixed.

We know that there is nothing “wrong” with people who are physically sick, they just need medical care to get better. Why does it have to be different for people who are emotionally or mentally sick?

Maybe there is a woman’s shelter or charity or something where this girl lives that could help her? Maybe get her some counseling? She needs to know there is nothing wrong with her, she’s just a little sick right now, but she can get better. And it doesn’t make her any less of a Muslim to be sick, anymore than someone with pneumonia is less of a Muslim. A true God will love her no matter what she struggles with.

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