What if my friends parents are getting a divorce and shes having a really hard time dealing with it..?what should I do to cheer her up?
right now my parents are getting a divorce, what I would like my friend to do is to understand not pity but help, I wouldn't like them to throw it back in my face saying that they helped me because I've helped them too, but thay don't remember the good things I've done for them(I have experieced my friends throwing it back at my face and it really upset me). you need to tell your friend you understand and tell them they're not the bad guy they're the victim and remind them of what life used to be like (I'm sure they will cry but after awhile they'll accept the fact and they will remember the good times but they'll also remember you and thank you). unfortunetly I didn't have friends like that in my most moment of need, they all thought they were doing such a great job of helping but they were actually hurting me, they would throw it back at my face, they said nasty stuff and after they wondered why I had becomed so weak, they thought the subject was so interesting but to me, it brought me on the verge of death, my own family were the ones that made me suffer, I had no-one to lean on, no shoulder to cry on, I was an only child, with friends who only wanted me for the good times, I would write poems about my life and when I read them to my friends they would cry(tears of pity) one thing you shouldn't do, it'll hurt them more they would rather die than someone pity them, that's all my advice sorry to write so long it's just when people want to help their friends whos parents are going through a divorce, I get reminded of the old days, when I needed someone to lean on.
Last thing, tell them you care,
tell them your there,
that's it's gonna be over soon,
tell them you know what they're going through.
hope to write soon,
THE GIRL WITH A BROKEN HEART
make sure that she knows she can trust/ come to you. dont ask if she needs hugs, cause she does; just do it. pat her back and tell her that it will get worked out. let her cry and DO NOT make her feel uncomfortable if she does. try not to ask many questions about why or how or when it started but do make sure to be comforting if she wants to talk about what to do or what will happen. dont say nothings wrong- it makes her feel worse. DO volunteer to take her out to have fun or just to have her spend the night. you can distract her for a little while, but when she wants to talk dont change the subject. tell her that you love her. reassure her during the convorsation about it that its not her fault. encourage her not to take sides. try to understand how she feels so it can help you know what to say. relate to her. dont remind her of the divorce when your together and her mind is off the subject. remind her of the good things in her life but dont make it obviouse that your trying to make her forget about it, it will only make her remember. be everything to her that you would want someone to be to you if your parents were divorcing.
I have the same problem right now, my friends parents are getting divorced - she has only told me and not our other best friends - I am touched that she told me but also really upset for her, because we are very close. I'm planning to invite her round and get a couple of dvd's and some popcorn and just try and make her forget about it
But does anyone think I should ask her if she wants to talk about it? or will that ruin the evening that is supposed to be fun for her? To make matters worse, it was her birthday yesterday.
Most of all, let her know you are there for her 24/7 if needed - make her promise if she's feeling even just a little bit of stress (everybody will), CALL !! - let her know this is a time period in her life and it WILL pass - make sure she does not blame herself (very common) but devestating - be supportive and loving to both parents as much as able but insist one does not 'bad mouth' the other to her (that's wrong) - you're a great friend for caring, I wish you and her a ton of happiness in the future !!
Well the same thing is happening to my best friend. The best thing to do is to be there for her. she needs to know that when the world is going down there is still someone who takes care for her . sometimes she feels like she's harming me because she is telling me her problems and she's making me sad to. If this happens to you , you should tell your friend that no matter what happens you're gonna be there and that you love her and that that's why best friends are for.
It's a terrible time for her, no doubt. She's facing all kinds of changes in her life, and would really benefit from having some things that are not changing, like your friendship.
Let her cry and talk about it as much as she wants, and be as understanding as possible. prince is right.
This is always a tough question to answer, all you can really do is be there. Listen to her problems let her talk about it, and just in general help her through it.
take her out or just have her spend the night. tell her that if she wants to talk you will listen but if she doesnt, then that is fine too.