My girlfriend is 19 and she has anorexia. She was recently raped and ever since then she has just gone down hill. She has taken her anorexia to new levels and i am starting to get worried about her. The other night i found her passed out on the bathroom floor and blood next to her because she has made herself vomit so much that she passed out and coughed up blood.
She wont get help. She refuses to and i dont know what to do. I have tried to be the nice boyfriend and give her space and let her to cope her own way while still keeping an eye on her, but i can't do that anymore.
She is 19 and weighs about 38 kilos!
Someone please tell me what i can do!!
No nives, you don't use your voice and yell, people in these kinds of positions need to be talked to softly, I've had anorexia and eating disorders before, and I didn't believe it, everyone told me to get help, then one morning I woke up, looked at myself and knew they were right. You need to get down to her level (height wise) and talk to her, tell her she needs help, tell her she's ruining her life, and everyones worried about her, make her feel loved, tell her she doesn't need to lose anymore weight, that's the thing with anorexics, they look in the mirror and all they see is fat, even though you can see their bones, they think of themselves obese. You need to get quite emotional for her, to show your concerns, don't cry, but if you think you need to go ahead. :) good luck.
I appreciate all the answers, so thank you.
My girlfriend is on the road to killing herself, I have tried to do it her way and let her do it on her own but she can't. She is mentally unwell and anyone who sees her can easily tell. I called the ambulance last night as I found her passed out in the bathroom again. They have taken her to the hospital. She is refusing to eat so the doctor said unless she eats something by the end of the day they will place a feeding tube in her.
I know that in order for her to get better she needs to want to do it, and on some levels she does. I am not forcing her to get better I am just making sure that she doesn't die. On a physical level They are making her healthy.
It depends on the laws of wherever you live. Most places have laws where people who are placing their lives in danger can be forcibly put in treatment. Generally the police come with an ambulance and just make them go to treatment, they dont usually have to ask (even if you are above the age of 18). Oh and while I do not believe in forced treatment under most situations, unfortunately with anorexia you cannot afford to wait around till she gets it. She'll be dead before that time. This provides some information on involuntary commitment in Australia. My suggestion, call your local police department and get some information. http://funadvice.com/r/14q6d2sdkhd
Yes it is and I totally understand what ur sayin as well, I wud want someone to help me if I culdt help myself, but forceing someone cud potentially make the situation worse, that's wat happened with me, the more someone tried to help the worse I got. Its a very complicated disease to have and most don't understand it. Its just crazy how ur mind plays tricks on you with addictions. I have also found that if u do it for someone else ur more prone to relapse as well, and that make it that much harded
Yes it is life threating, that's y I said I wud want someone to help me if I cudnt help myself, because anorexia does u like that, it makes you think thrs nothing wrong with wat ur doin, when in fact ur doin much damage to ur body, ur bones weaken, u weaken, lose muscle tone, it messes ur teeth up cuz ur not gettin the right nutrients, so yeah I wud want the help and I acctually have a document stateing as such, just in case I get bad again and decide I don't need help, when I acctully do
Along with anorexia I had depression so the anti depressants helped I think. I don't think it's completely gone, some days I wake up and hate myself, others im just like good morning :) I started getting anorexia and depression when my two best friends died. They died at separate times, a year or so apart, so just as I started getting last Brooke, Brittany died, so I still get really upset, but I know their up there with god, they were taken to soon, but I know their happy.
Call the hospital and explain the situation. They will send an ambulance and police escort if they need to, to try and force her into getting medical care. The unfortunate thing is, she's over 18, so she has the right to refuse treatment, but most of the time, when the police show up, people give in and assume that they have to do as they are told - hopefully, she'll do so.
Yes true, u mah b able to force them to get help but u can't force them to get help. What I mean by that is just because u get the treatment doesn't mean they will follow through, just like any other addiction they have to want to do it for themselves, otherwise wats the point? Please don't take this statement the wrong way, I'm not tryin to b rude or anything
i would like swebb said, talk to her. If you found her in the bathroom next to blood call the ambulance as well. They will startbthebhelp. she needs a mental evaluation. Especially with being raped. Maybe ask her to see a counselor, with you or without, female counselor. but mainly love her, keep loving her, be with her. hold her hand, show your concerns.
I realise that. And do understand the repercussions of it, but it is either get better and little and have a relapse or find her in dead on the bathroom floor. She needs both medical and psycological help in a supportive way, but she needs to be for now forced to get some form of treatment because it is life threatening.
I understand, but she isn't getting better and being passed out on the bathroom floor is pretty close to death, she could have choked on her blood and died. It's reached the point where it is life threatening and she needs to be forced into treatment before she kills herself.
yeah i guess that is a bit extensive,i typed the comment before i clicked "more". i was watching this video on one anno chick and she was so ignorant, she knew she had something wrong with her but kept doing it. i know i would get pretty angry if i knew someone like that.
I do want to add, she has to be at a critical level for them to commit her. They wont just commit anyone who has an eating disorder because it is a long term illness that can last decades. Call them up for more information.
May I just point out that allowing someone to harm themselves to the point where they die is considered negligent behaviour and this guy could potentially go to prison for allowing it to happen.
For some people it is like that but in my experiance its when they can't control anything else in thr life, well they sure can control wat goes in thr mouth, so they use that
I'm very happy to her that Swebb, but I was told ur never cured, I have been anorexic for almost 20 yrs and I still struggle, its hard to do, especially without support
I'm sorry about ur situation and I'm also sorry to say unless she passes out or u can prove her mentally incompitant by the court u cannot force her to get help
We all know we have probs but like any addict u need pro help, anorexia is nothin to play around with, believe me I know, I still struggle with it
I'm very sorry to hear that I'm very sure it wasn't easy to deal with that, I'm very happy ur better though and hope u stay that way :-)
I agree with this, in some situations I would use some sort of force. I mean he could wake up tomorrow and find her dead on the floor.
and im so sorry to hear that about you, im not sure how you could think there is anything wrong with how you look :\ sorry
yeah but if you look at yourself in the mirror and think there is something wrong, i think that plays a massive part.
Thank you :) that was when I was 13 and 14, possibly the lowest points of my life. But now ive recovered :)
ah k fair enough. and steph your Fricken pretty as so i wouldnt worry about a thing!
Its not all about the way the look, its more of a control mechanism for most of us
yeah, i think i got depressed after my aunty died. death really f u c k s you up.
i'm glad you got the help you needed.
Lol, thank you nives :)
use your voice an yell.
Thanks, so do I :)
That is also true
