Okay so before it even happened he asked ahead of time if I wanted to have sex with him and I said no repeatedly because I wasn't ready. Then he came over and he said "we don't have to have sex tonight if you don't want to" and we were laying down cuddling and then he started kissing me and eventually we started doing things and then we stopped and cuddled again for a little but then he started taking off my clothes and putting my legs around him and I was like "what are you doing?!!!" and he was like "I just want to see what it feels like" and I was like "no ____, I don't want to" and he was like "please just let me stick in once" and I was like "no stop I said I don't want to" and it's not like I could get up and run away or anything because my bed is small and there was no way I could just get up and away from him with him being at least 6'2 and me barely over 5ft. anyways , then it happened and after he left I cried my eyes out and at least once a week I cry every night because I regret it so much since my virginity was something extremely important to me and I'm still young. we're both 15 and this happened on September 7th of this year. thanks for taking the time out to read this. The only reason I'm asking this is because I told my bestfriend and she thinks its rape.. Btw, he never hurt me or threatened me at all. I kind of wanted to because I was in the "mood" but I DIDN'T want to, know what I mean? I'm saying like I would still say no matter what because I know it was wrong and not a good decision.
It was unquestionably rape, with no ambiguity about it. The more important question is, knowing that, what do you want to have happen next about it, and what are you willing and able to do toward that end?
I urge you to find a responsible and trusted adult in your life - family, teacher, counselor, nurse, clergy, friend of your parents', parent of a friend, etc. - who you can tell and talk with about it.
Yes, it is RAPE. You were raped by that boy. You told him no and you did NOT want to have sex, but he forced you. He probably does not know that he raped you because he didn't consider it rape, but it is. It does not matter if you two were fooling around. You need to tell someone. And you need to confront him about it. I'm so sorry this happened to you...
