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Break Free (poem)

What should I fix??? Is it good or bad???

I don’t know why I felt the need To save you from your dreams But there was something about you There was something about your screams

You always wake up crying Out of breath from screaming You sometimes dream you dying And then admit, you need me

I don’t want you to feel this pain So, I try to make it go away But I can’t fix it every time There’s just some pain that always stays

I know what it feels like To have no one around And I know what it feels like When everything’s profound

So, I want you to know I’m always here for you I will never leave your side Unless you want me too

I care for you way too much To see you feel this pain So, I just want you to know I am here to stay

Now take my hand And take the jump Don’t look down And don’t look up

Look ahead And smile with me Spread your wings And for once be free

It’s your time to fly Away from this place Now break free from this terrible dream

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Answer #1

You need to decide if the poem is rhyme or free verse, as it seems to chop and change so it doesn’t flow as well as it should. Other than that it is fairly good. I’d actually get rid of the last stanza and end it at the one before that.

Answer #2

I like the whole this except for the last little chunk. Guessing from the rest of the poem you could make a way better endind than that. But really the rest was AMAZING.

Answer #3

its nice but ya I agree with intense

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