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Will anything happen between us?

Could being best mates with a girl you know and share a flat with lead to anything serious between us because i have told her how i feel about her?? The other night i went out with her and her ex for a drink, i think she was gettin jealous because i was txting a girl i know and hse was trying to see what i was sending in my txts to her. I went upstairs to a night club with them both and i knew a forgein lady who i had helped with her with speaking english, my female mate sat down rite next to me and as i was talking to the foregin lady, her ex lad told me that she was jealous but i didnt know what to think, both me and my mate went away to the toliet and when we come back her ex and the lady were getting sort of close, her ex told me to take her home andsh*g her, my mate left in tears and i went after her to comfort her. She has told me in the past that nothing is goin to happen but i cant help think something might happen some time in the future. She told her b/f that she is in England but she is still in Scotland, she has spent t he last few nights with her ex and they have had sex every nite since thursday. Shge knows that i care about her and i dont like seeing her geeting upset or used but what can i do to make her see sense?? She wants me to go to a party with her at new year, we only know 1 guy from college who is throwing the party and he is trying to get in with her.
Im scared incase she gets raped by a few rowdy guys there or even by theu guy from college,as she has been raped twice before, i dont know what to do for the best and i really need some advice before its to late, PLEASE HELP

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Answer #1

Dear virgintaker16, She isn’t okay…there is no way any one can be raped twice and be okay??? She perhaps said that so she wouldn’t have to go and face her problems. She will need counselling for a very long time. She is only 16 and has been through a lot. There isn’t an easy fix…she will never have a functional relationship till she has her self together and that isn’t going to happen for a while. You shouldn’t get involved with her romantically this will only add to the mix for you. If you truly care you will not be thinking about yourself at this time and just continue to be her friend, being there for her without the romance. Just the fact she kept in contact with her EX who has…as you say put her threw some stuff says just how troubled she is. She needs help and anyone who says they are “fine” and “don’t need counselling” who has been through what she has is putting up a smoke screen. Sue…good luck

Answer #2

Dear virgintaker16, You all need to take a step back…all of you. This girl needs some counselling ASAP. She’s been raped twice and you have fears it may happen again. She may be suffering from victim syndrome and is surely suffering from low self-esteem and low self-respect. Her EX is a piece of work for sure…it appears he is using her just for the sex. You are no means ready for this type of relationship feeling you need to protect her is a bad way to start a relationship. You would be starting it in a parents role or feeling the need to be in control. You also need to see when such a dysfunctional person is not material for a relationship. Forget it and just be her friend…see if she’ll go to counselling. Sue…good luck

Answer #3

ok Sue 90 thanks fo you advice i will keep you up to date and let you know the latest, im trying to be her as a best mate and will try to help her as best as i can but everything i do for her she chucks it back in my face and that really hurts me the most. I told her stuff in confidenece and she went away and told her ex everything that i had told her. I feel that she has betrayed me, should i feel angry or should i just forget about what she told her ex and make a fresh start with her after christams and new year??

Answer #4

Hi Sue 90, She has already been to counselling and it appears that she is ok, i dont think she knows what she wants ahd her head is all over the place, her ex has put her thru some kind of sh*t before, he is off the germany in 1 week time with the army perhaps this would benefit her from not seeing him for period of time, what do you think?? she is only 16 years old

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