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I recently found out that I was pregnant with my ex's baby. We have been married, divorced and on again off again. Thislast break up was for good on my part I was tired of being an idiot basically. He has been addicted to painkillers for 10 years now and also drinks everyday excessively. He has lost numerous jobs and always blames everyone else: me, his family, etc.. He has burned all his bridges with his once close friends who have written him off. Anyway, I told him about being pregnant because I wanted to get him to pay for the abortion but he was the opposite stating it was great and he couldn't wait to get back together and be the best parents. I continued to talk with him about his issues and of course he said now he had a reason to quit and everything would be okay. I continued at him to make sure it was what he really wanted and that he just wasn't "high" feeling life was great.For 3 weeks now he's been supportive and the day before Christmas and didn't hear from him, and on Christmas I din't hear from him nor did his family so I drove to his place and he was an ass stating he needed time to think and didn't want to be around anyone. I was pissed because I allowed myself once again to be fooled by his lies. I continued to call him onChristmas and he neveransweredhis phone and I have not heard fromhim since. I am now struggling with getting the abortion I'm 36 and have never had kids but I don't want to do this alone and be a single mom. I know I can never countonhim because he is an addict and doesn'twant to quit, because in his eyes he doesn'thavea problem. I'm getting ready to move out of state back with my family too so I won't have a job right away and no health insurance. I feel so confused and betrayed. Why he just wouldn't have agreed in the very beginning so there wouldn't be all this time to think and think. I want my ex out of my life for good and I feel if I have the baby I will always have a tie to him that I don't want. I would appreciate any advice. Thanks! CONFUSED
Abortion is a choice you alone can make. No one, not even a message board, can make that desicion for you. Every woman has different goals, beliefs and situations. I think you should seek a counselor - an unbiased one- meaning it isn't some religious based counseling to get you to not have an abortion. (that can inflict some major guilt issues.) Try a crisis center, they can probably direct you to the kind of counseling you need to help you in your decision. You need to weigh all of the pros and cons. Good luck.
Heavy...I'm going to have to agree with sikashimmer. This is a decision that's going to take a great deal of soul searching. If you do have the child your ex most certainly will remain in your life in one capacity or another for the rest of your life and in order to give it up for adoption your going to have to have his consent (which it sounds like he might not give) as well unless you can get his parental rights taken away (long and messy court battle). I don't envy you your task here.
My best advice to you would be to give the baby up for adoption. That means you have 9 solid months to see how things go, and to make a decision. And if at the end of those 9 months you decide you aren't quite ready for a child, give it up to someone who is. I hope my advice helps atleast a little bit
It is your choice whether you want abortion or not. I don't think you should but I can't make the decision for you. If you do not want the baby then what I think you should do is have the baby, and if you really don't want it deep down..then put it up for adoption.
