What do you think of the way my friend handled this situation?

She asked me to ask this question lol, I’m not just like snooping or whatever >.<

But thanks ^.^ lol

I can understand your friend’s frustration, but I do agree with you that she did not handle it very well. Do they know the definite source he got HIV from, though? Was it from the person who r@ped him, or was it from a sexual partner after that? Because it seems like she thinks it was someone after that.. R@pe is not by choice..

In any case, I think the situation may have went better if she were more supportive of it and tried understanding why he does NOT want to pass it to her. If she doesn’t know what HIV is about, perhaps she could research it to see more about it and what could happen if she gets it.

She knows what HIV is all about. He doesn’t know for sure who it’s from, though.

very brave and carefulness of the guy but u can tell him that he can have sex with condom :)

Lets look at the fact that she asked you to ask this question. Obviously she does not feel like she handled it in the best possible way. Quite possibly she is feeling guilty for having caused him pain. Here’s the thing. She has experienced a loss in her life. Sex is something that is physically pleasurable and it is that emotionally connects two people in a relationship. Especially for women who crave that emotional connection. So it is ok for her to feel angry. Even non rational anger. A lot of times people get angry at others for getting sick. Even when it is obviously not their fault. People get angry for all sorts of reasons. She is probably scared for her boyfriends life. This means a huge change for their life. She may have thought about their future, and now the future is a huge question mark. She is probably not just angry about the fact that she is being deprived of sex. There’s a whole lot of things going on. So remind her that she is just a person who is experiencing the usual course of emotions when one is grieving (grieving comes after every loss). That, obviously, does not mean she can or should take it out on him. I think there’s a lot going on that she kinda needs to figure out in her own head. And then, if they have a good enough relationship, she needs to be able to express her emotions in a different way. Lets say she feels scared because she does not know what this means for their relationship, and sometimes she feels angry at him even though she knows it wasnt his fault. Those words say I am expressing how I feel with you, but I am not attacking you. She is probably hesitant to talk about how she feels because he’s the one that’s sick. Here’s the problem with that, just because someone has a lot of issues in their lives, does not mean you can try to bottle up issues in yours. Because that just leads to outbursts like the one she had. And then regret, remorse, and you’ve ended up hurting someone more than if you had just talked to them in the first place.

Of course I could be way off and have just overanalyzed this to a point that wasnt needed…

You might be right ^.^ thanks!

He knows that, but he’s still scared. Thanks though :)

i can see why she would be annoyed but its a big thing to be told, and affects you threw your whole life so in ways hes only looking out for her as your her friend i think you should give her your opinion if you already havnt