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Why is he pressuring me?

I have a boyfriend and we have been dating for almost 3 and a half years I am 21 and he is 30. Lately he has been asking me to have unprotected sex with him promising he would “ pull out”. I do not believe in the pull out method, because it does not always work. See he wont stop asking me about it.

See I never got the chance to save my virginity like I wanted to, because I was pressured to have sex for the first time.Since I didnt get to do that, I want to save the unprotected sex until my wedding night, cause if I dont I would be going againsts my morals.

I still live with my parents right now because im not financially able to live on my own. My boyfriend just bought him a house and he told me he doesnt want me to move in until I get a job. See he wants to have unprotected sex with me, and im like “ so you dont want me living with you, but you want to get me knocked up.” I am still telling him no, because I am afraid that if I get pregnant he would leave me.

I feel like I am falling into peer pressure as well. I graduated highschool in 2007 and most of the girls my age are either engaged,married,pregnant,or already has kids. At times I feel like I didnt get the memo, but at the same time I think I am making the right decision to not fall into the pressure.

What should I do?

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Answer #1

If you don’t want to he can’t make you. If he keeps pressuring you even after you’ve said no numerous times, then dump him. He obviously doesn’t respect your decissions. It sounds to me like he doesn’t care if he gets you pregnant or not.

Answer #2

Hm. This is my take on your situation, and I’m a little bit younger than you, so I can’t totally relate, but I’ll do my best.

Most of your friends that are married/have kids/engaged are probably that way because they rushed into things. A lot of people get married because they have unprotected sex and get pregnant, and then it’s the big rush to get married to you have the baby legitimately. That’s not always the case, but it’s more common than not unfortunatly. I would wait a while before getting married, but that’s just me, I’m not the type that’s going to want to get out of high school and get committed right away. I want to have some freedom first.

As for your boyfriend. I don’t know him, but you’re right. It’s not fair that he wants you to risk getting pregnant but he won’t let you move in with him. Him wanting you to get a job first is fair, but if you feel uncomfortable with what he’s asking you to do, don’t. ESPECIALLY if it is in violation of your morales. Keep YOUR needs your PRIORITY. You can’t make anyone else happy if you aren’t happy with yourself. I’m sorry to hear that you didn’t get to save yourself like you wanted to. People pressuring eachother to jump into bed when they get all hot and bothered over eachother is sad and primitive. Sex is supposed to be a special..bonding…I guess experience for two people who have decided they really love eachother and want to go all the way with their commitment to eachother by essentially giving themselves to the other, so to speak.

Your boyfriend should understand and respect your feelings about unprotected sex. Don’t let him walk on you, tell him how you feel. Take your time and enjoy your life. There’s no reason to rush. There’s no getting back what you lose to pressure. So hold in there :)

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