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It only happens when I'm with the people who I desperately want to get close to...
Hi, I'm not sure if you are shy or talkative. There's nothing wrong with being the quiet type, as long as you're relaxed and yourself at all times, but if you're shy because of the fear of not fitting in or liked, then you may need to work on low self-esteem issues. People can usually see through that and be cruel about it too. There are so many different personalities out there that it's impossible to please each one, therefore, some will like you and some will not - even if you were the nicest person on earth and visa versa. Trying too hard to be close to those you like may send the message that you're desparate and may turn them off some. so, again, ralax and don't think too much about how they're going to receive you, just be yourself no matter what. Being talkative is not a bad thing either as long as you have some substance in what you're saying. If a person is too talkative because of the need for attention, then others will see right through that too and become irritated. Talking too much about yourself leaves nothing left for others to want to know more about you, and it also may be annoying. No one is perfect, we all have our flaws and if someone won't accept you, then move on because that person(s) may not be worthy of your friendship anyway - The good thing about being yourself is that you will attract people who are truly genuine with good ethics - be patient, true to yourself and others.
Extreme shyness. I had that problem when I was growing up. Like Amblessed says, "a little at a time". I used to get that way when I really wanted to know about a guy and I didn't know how to go about getting to know him. Just be friendly. Not overly friendly though. You may have the opposite effect on this person. I just know when I got to meet the guy I wanted to I ended up knowing how shallow he was and then I was disappointed. Then I laughed at myself for thinking too much about this person.
Maybe it's because you are so nervous about it. Sometimes we are our own worst enemy. Believe it or not we sometimes sabatoge ourselves, just so we can prove ourselves right. Try to relax around the people that you want to get close to. Go out to eat one on one, and just talk about anything and everything. Let me know how things go, and I'm sure others will come along and give you even better advice.
Talk to you soon, Kimmie
Maybe that adreniline gets to pumping too soon, too fast, so just be patient - little at a time, let them come around to you...I wish you the best !!
do you fear getting close to people incase they hurt you?
hey, you're not alone.
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