Home More advice Entertainment
Do you know any funny jokes? Even if you think its dumb... I just need a laugh :)
No it's a hippo, elephant, and rhino helifino
Q:what's a blonde's version of safe sex? A: A padded dashboard
Q:how do you kill a dumb blond? A: put a scratch&sniff sticker at the bottom of the pool
Q: how do you drown a submarine of dumb blonds? A: knock on the door?
A little boy is called down or breakfast. He asks "Grama, where's mommy and daddy?" She responds, "They're in their room, why?" He chuckle and goes back upstairs. Lunch time, he comes down and eats then asks Grama, where's mommy and daddy?" "They're in their room, why?". Again, he just chuckles and goes upstairs to his room. Dinner time, he comes down stairs, eats and asks for the third time "Where's mommy and daddy". They're still in their room. Why? He chuckles."WHy do you chuckle everytime at my respondse" she asks. The little boy answers, "Last night, Daddy asked for the vasaline and I gave him supper glue"'s
Here one you can use your friend's names with:
A man dies and is given a tour of heaven. First he was shown the dinning room. The dining room was simply astounding. He caught glance of an his old friend (insert friend's name here) a hideous woman. The man exclaims ", how did you wind up with her?" ___ responds "Well, for all the bad things I did on earth,I'm now stuck with her for eternity as punishment". Next the man was shown the ball room.The ball room was so humongous and amazing. Embellished with the finest of things. He ran into his old friend __(insert 2nd friend's name here) in which the most horrific woman at least he thought this being was being but couldn't was but couldn't be sure, This woman was so grotesque. He claims _, how did you wind up with her?!?!" "Well, for all the bad things I did on earth, I wound up with her for all eternity". Finally the man is given a tour of the swimming pool.Thepool was the swimming awesome size of unmatched by any he's ever seen, and so beautiful. He runs into his old pal _(insert last friend's name here) in which he's accompanied by the most gorges woman he had ever laid eyes on. More beautiful than he could ever dream. The man exclaims __, how in heaven's name did you wind up with her???" And the woman starts "Well, for all bad things I've done on Earth..."
Another three-year old put his shoes on by himself. His mother noticed the left was on the right foot. She said, "Son, your shoes are on the wrong feet." He looked up at her with a raised brow and said, "Don't kid me, Mom. I KNOW they're my feet."
A three-year old went with his dad to see a litter of kittens. On returning home, he breathlessly informed his mother there were two boy kittens and two girl kittens. "how did you know?" his mother asked. "Daddy picked them up and looked underneath," he replied. "I think it's printed on the bottom.
On the first day of school, the Kindergarten teacher said, "If anyone has to go to the bathroom, hold up two fingers." A little voice from the back of the room asked, "How will that help?"
more at http://www.danggoodjokes.com/littlefunnies/
An old lady is given a brief tour of a hospital by a doctor: as they walk past a patient room, the old lady notices that the patient is lying on the bed and masturbating furiously. Old lady says to the doctor "Oh my! What's going on in there?!" Doctor says: "The patient has a very rare disease: he has to keep masturbating, or else his nuts will explode." They continue walking and the old lady notices another patient in a different room; the patient was receiving falacio courtesy of a sexy nurse. "Oh my! What's going on in there?!" she asks. Doctor replies "Same disease, better health plan."
”a really ugly girl walked into the doctors office because she thought that she had a disease.So she went to the office and the doctor said”if we really want to find out I will need you to strip please”.The lady stripped down completely and the doctor gave her a stern look and said”oh my this is not good at all”,he sighed.”whats wrong doctor”?im very sorry to say this but you have exzackery disease”.”Whats that”?Its when your face looks exzackery like your butt.LOL
what do you get when you combine an elephant and a rhino? el if I no!! get it? hell if I know.. hahaha makes me laugh every time (:
"oh boy that was intense."
"so is camping."
hahah get it? camping... in-tents... lol dumb but I think its funny. [:
why do brunettes make up blonde jokes... they need something to do on friday night
