Man I need to know some more jokes got any good ones
A man and his wife were awakened at 3:00 am by a loud pounding on the door. The man gets up and goes to the door where a drunken stranger, standing in the pouring rain, is asking for a push.
"Not a chance," says the husband, "it is 3:00 in the morning!" He slams the door and returns to bed. "Who was that?" asked his wife. "Just some drunk guy asking for a push," he answers. "Did you help him?" she asks. "No, I did not, it is 3:00 in the morning and it is pouring rain out there!" "Well, you have a short memory," says his wife. "Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down, and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him, and you should be ashamed of yourself!" The man does as he is told, gets dressed , and goes out into the pounding rain. He calls out into the dark, "Hello, are you still there?" "Yes," comes back the answer. "Do you still need a push?" calls out the husband. "Yes, please!" comes the reply from the dark. "Where are you?" asks the husband. "Over here on the swing," replied the drunk.
a little old lady answers a knock at her door to be met by a travelling vacuum cleaner salesman.before she has a chance to say anything,the man tips a bucket of horse sh#t over her hallway carpet and explains,madam if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of that horse sh#t from your carpet,I will eat whats left,well she says ,I hope you're hungry because they cut my electricty off this morning!
two hunters are out in the woods in new jersey,when one of them collaspses,he does'nt seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed,the other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency sevices,he gasp my friend is dead!!! what can I do? the operator says,calm down I can help,first let make sure he's dead!! there is a silence,then a shot is heard,back on the phone,the guy says,ok now what???
Why did the Energizer bunny go to jail?
** He was charged with battery.
Lmao that one's really funny hahahahaa
hahahaha I loved them all
hahahahah! I like it