I was exually "exposed" (I don't really callit abuse, because I was a willing participant) four thimes as a kid that I know of. Ages four and/or five was probably by sibblins as Iwas hte youngest. It only lasted a few weeks until I got hurt and said I'd tell on them. The second instance was around eight, by a baby sitter of the opposite age. It felt good, made me feel warm and aroused and she was pretty. It didn't last long. It happened with a girl my age in a backyard tent. But the most lasting happened when I was nine and ten almost daily over eight months;it was with a barely adult young bride of a traveling evangelist. In retrospect, he was abusive to her, and she wa in bed and depressed all the time. She may have been drinking. I did chores around the house that she rented from my aunt. Her pretty three year old invited me in to help hermother. I cooked them breakfast. And helped the lady (her name was Angela, her daughter's name was Angel) clean up dishes and stuff. Angela hadn't bathed or eaten or taken care of her daughter or herself for days. She was afraid she'd be beaten when when her big Indian husband got home. He was nice looking. She was awesome--blonde but dark complected. One day she asked me to help her get to the bath-tub, and help her bathe. I did. This started eight months of sex with her and even her daughter. When they moved away, I was totally lost. I couldn't have sex with girls my own age. I became withdrawn for a while, but I would have never traded this time for anything. At some pupp-love level, I loved thes girls. After that I was shy around girls and didn't have sex again until I was fourteen. That was an older teen too. Seemed like they could figure me out when my peers couldn't/ I have been told by girls from my classes back then that they all had crushes on me, but they couldn't get me to engae muc. I knew I probably couldn't or shouldn't hop in the bed with any of them, but that was my experience. I am now declared extremely stable emotionally. I guess I always was a survivor. I have visited with shrinks and after one session they have said that I am a survivor and just got through it on my own. I always feel deep empathy for children who have had similar "abusive experiences". So often it seems that we hear about those whos lives it destroys--or nearly does. But I have also heard form others like me who just got through it, no real big deal. Beinbg a guy, helps, but I knwo girls who have felt the same and just dealt with it. I sometimes wonder what make us different. It also helps me to help other survivors. We did SOMETHING RIGHT, apparently. Are there others out there like us? Or not?
You not only had sex with an older woman, but you raped her three year old?! What the hell is wrong with you - that's abuse right there. Pedophilic despite your age, you were three times older, and she couldn't consent due to her age - that is sick! You need some serious help. You were abused by your siblings but when you got older I don't feel that was the case, you were not raped by the woman or her child, that's not survival - that's just wrong.
@demikarayray even Indians call themselves indians. You call Indians Native Americans and black people African Americans, but white people are just white? Why aren't they European Americans?
You had sex with a three year old and her mother. You said Indain its Native. You sound like you need to talk to a trusted adult becasue this is not normal. Yours turly, Demika Ray
