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What do I do about my young teen and her boyfriend?

Because my phone was stolen recently, I had to put my replacement sim card into an old mobile. On that phone I discovered text messages between my (then) 13yr old daughter and her boyfriend basically proving that they had been doing many sexual acts. I do believe her that she hasn’t actually had intercourse but they seem to have done everything else but! I am so upset and horrified. I had trusted her completely and allowed her a certain degree of freedom. I can’t believe they could do this. One of the texts actually arranged for them to go to his house because his parents were always out and I am always around!!! She has just turned 14 so these texts were made a few weeks ago when she was only 13. Apart from lock her away for the next few years, what can I do?

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Answer #1

The difficulty in these kinds of situations is that nearly any sensible move you make as a parent is seen as your efforts to break up her romance and deny her the opportunity for love. That in turn, tends to drive the lovers closer together. you can put limits on their relationship. The goal is to allow the relationship to play out and end on its own. One way to do this is to encourage her to see the boyfriend in the setting of the family. Since she is only 14, you supervise her closely, monitor where she’s going and what she’ll be doing, and reduce the opportunities for them to be alone and unsupervised.

Answer #2

texts can sound so much worse than the truth. you don’t really know what’s going on exactly, so don’t assume.

if you tell her that you read the texts, she’ll be very embarassed and won’t talk to you about it. if you punish her, she’ll probably sneak around being your back to rebel against you. the best thing is to probably have a short sex talk with her. she’s too young to have sex in my opinion, but if she’s doing it, you can’t do much about it without getting a negitive response from her. you’re daughter probably knows how to be safe during sexual activities, but if not, that’s what you’re for.

hope I helped.

Answer #3

Well.. thirteen is pretty young to be doing that sort of stuff.. If she wants to do that with her boyfriend, no one can stop her. If you talk to her, and tell her she can’t see him anymore, tell her that she’s grounded, or anything else along those line’s it’s just going to make her angry at you, and want to rebel even more than she already has.

My suggestion to you is that you talk to her soon, and think about birthcontrol. I’m only eighteen, and I just lost my virginity a year ago. Sex was a scary thing for me at 13. I was still playing with Barbies!! Uhm.. hm. Yeah, birthcontrol. Wouldn’t you rather her be safe? I know this must be hard for you to grasp, but your little girl’s growing up, and you need to be ‘cool’ with that!

I hope that helped a bit.. if not.. I’m sorry!

Answer #4

The sad truth is, that if you punish her for it.. she’ll rebel and most likely want to disobey you more than ever. Just tell her that she can make her own decisions and make sure she’s aware of the consequences of her actions. (: Good Luck.

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