For the past few months I've noticed I've been progressively getting worse and worse in wanting to be thin.
It all started about april time when I went on a school trip. I was about 107 lbs and 5'1 and was desperate to lose a bit weight but never did much about it.
Just so happens the food in germany wasn't exactly to my liking, so for that week I was starving. I lost about 2 lbs that week and I'd kind of gotten used to feeling hungry all the time.
I came back and was terrified of putting on weight. I still am today. I've got myself down to 95lbs (I'm still 5'1) and something in my head is telling me to stop, but I can't. I don't want to gain weight, I want to lose it. I want to be thin. My friends tell me I am but I can't believe them. They're hardly going to say 'oh yeah, your fat', cause they're lovely people.
It sounds stupid, but my boobs are tiny. They don't even fill out a 32AA bra, and im terrified they'll get any smaller if I lose weight, but it doesn't stop me. It's making me depressed and every time I go to eat food, and I mean EVERY time, I'm counting calories and totalling up how many I've ate.
Something inside me knows I'm being stupid, and having about 800 calories a day, like I've had today there abouts, isn't good, but I can't stop myself.
I don't know what to do.
I would say you are not being healthy and that is what is important. And Yes if they are your real friends they will tell you the truth. I don't know how old you are but I would not want to be young today with all the hollywood bullcrap. I am 5' 1 and in my 20's I was around 135 and that was great now at age 33 I have gained weight and I struggle also, but I know that you need to be healthy and HAPPY, Please just eat good and get the help you may need now before it gets worse. 800 calories is not enough. And yes your boobs will stay small. When a women looses weight the first place in usuall leave is your breast
The best time to stop a problem is before it starts. You are heading down the path of an eating disorder and believe me it is a lot harder to get over something the longer you are used to thinking and bahaving in ways that reinforce that thinking. Talk to a counselor or someone. Eating disorders kill. A member on this site died a few weeks ago from an eating disorder. 91 pounds is not just thin, it's underweight... For your happiness, for your life please get help.
your at least to the first step admitting you have a problem.. Go talk to your parents/guardians they love you and care about you.. They will help you get the right help Good luck and God Bless
