Been having weird thoughts like this for about a month

You probably won’t get this message, seeing as how it’s been two months, but it wouldn’t hurt to have someone to talk to. My email is ehelectrum@aol.com, so just send me a tell (seeing as it’s fau, you’d probably feel better making an anonymous email)and we can talk.

I think about stuff that makes me feel really crazy for even thinking those kinds of things, ya know? I just want to make sure that someone like you doesn’t disappear…to think that you had the guts to actually say something means more than it may seem. Different people need different things in different ways: some need meds and treatment, and others need someone who’s learned a thing or two to talk to.

I may only be seventeen, but I’ve lived more than some people would ever want to. I’m not going to make wishes for you if you don’t answer; I’m not going to suggest treatment or a journal, and I won’t pray for you. What you do and have been doing is because it’s what you feel you need to do, and sometimes that’s the best thing. I can tell you for certain that I’m mentally defunct in some way or another. But it doesn’t make me a bad person: if you want to talk to a room full of drunks, I’m your man, got it? Life’s crazy, so I just adapted.

Why do you think you want to do it? You need to seek help, because your weak when it comes to self mutilation. It’s okay to seek help, you need to do so. Seek professional counseling. People think they get relief by self mutilation. They think it takes away the pain and thoughts providing relief. That’s far from true. What happens is after you do it, your mind is put on cleaning up and hiding the evidence and that’s where the relief comes in. You had a few minutes to take your mind off of you and your problems and put it on cleaning up or hiding the evidence. Don’t allow your mind to take control, learn to resist. The more you do the stronger you’ll become. Begin a journal and annotate, when you get the thoughts, what was happening prior to or during, and what did you do to get past thinking about it. Keep this journal, read and re read it. It strengthens you. Most importantly seek help.

Do you see anyone? Are you taking medication? I think it goes without saying these two things need to be done. I’m not saying your crazy, but more than likely you have a disorder that needs treated.

I used to want to die everyday. But after being successfully treated I’ve gone over a year without any bad thoughts. Yes it took me a year to find the right meds that worked and help from my doctor, but I can say my thoughts of self harm are completely gone. Some people think they can get over it themselves, but its just not true. It’s the same as being a diabetic, would they be able to get over their symptoms? Not at all. They may even die without their treatments. There is nothing wrong with getting help and there isn’t much we here can do for you other than emotional support.

If you have already gotten help from a psychiatrist and you are just venting here, I’m sorry about your relapse. We all fall once in a while. But try your hardest not to do it again, it will be so much harder to stop once you’ve picked back up. If there is another way to cope than that by all means do it. I like to write every thought in my mind down, and then it I can leave there in the paper instead of on my mind.

Some Help here: If you need someone to just listen, just talk to, or pray with you: 24 hrs: 1-800-488-4673…I wish you the best !!

I’d say that you should never do it but then I’d be a hypocite, because I do it myself. Mutiple times. But I deserve it, and 10 to one you dont. So stop, and let the people who deserve the pain (Me) do it.

Just like a person that has a drinking problem or a drug problem there are going to be times that you think about it more often than other times. You need to find something else that you can do when you start to thinking about it. Like write down your feelings, or light a nice smelling candle, or find a friend you can call and talk to. Anything enjoyable that you can do to show yourself that you are worth way more than cutting yourself. You have so much to offer, because you overcame a problem that has caused problems for a lot of people. Think about getting on message boards related to the subject and give someone else some encouragement. Good luck to you.