Me and my boyfriend of five years have finally got our own place, we moved in last week, but the problem is, my mom and his mom will not leave us alone!
Don't get me wrong, I love my mom, she's my best friend, and I love dylans mom, but we just want at least a few hours in the day to ourselves to settle in and what not, and we have a lot to sort out like decorating etc.
I hate to hurt their feelings but I feel like I havent even moved out!
It's also causing me and my boyfriend to argue and be moody and we very rarely argue
I feel like us both living together is going down the pan already! :(
How can I tell them that I need my own space nicely, and to make my mom listen to me without getting too offended?
Senisble feedback please :)
You asked for funmail, this won't be. Too many kids are shacking up these days before marriage. I've said the same to another FunAdvicer and got a real bashing. But it is the truth. We are to save ourselves and be pure for marriage.
If you guys are truly in love, get married. Don't just have a wedding, give 100% to each other, treat the other as better than yourself by meeting their needs first, then yours. Marriage is not 50/50. You give your whole self to the other to become one flesh, a covenant to each for life.
Feeling somewhat strained by the company? Politely give your schedule for visiting, and by all means have them call first before coming over.
Erin, you said you were kind of confused about God because no one really pointed you to Him. Do you have a Bible handy. Start in the book of John in the New Testament. Some people don't like to start in the middle of a book, but that is one of the love letters to God's people. See what manner of love is this to be called a son (daughter) of God! Read it to each other and you will be blessed.
Find one with Jesus' words in red and really meditate on His Word.
Blessings as you find truth,
I'm not going to give you a bashing about this at all Dan,
I have been with my boyfriend 5 years, we both work hard, I'm studying to get a career, thats what I want before marriage, we love eachother and we can't afford a fancy wedding right now with so much to pay for, I am confused about god, but I see it as we love eachother, so what does a few papers matter right now? I think I'm too young to get married, I want to wait until it feels right, and I do want to have kids when I am married, but many people have different beliefs, I'm from england originally, and people over there live together as a sort of first step really, when they have been together a long time, it makes sense as my mom lives on a farm and I want to stay in the city to see my boyfriend more now she's remarried, and I do give my whole self to him, I'd do anything for him, I respect religion and iwant to find whats right formyself on that score but I dont see the harm in living with your partner? :S
anyone else agree?
Yep im afraid everyone is right. Its what happens when you move out.
You see us parents think that you guys cant function without us, but the thing is... is that you really can but we dont want to see it. We like to feel needed even though you have grown up !!
You should just say straight up "look im really happy that your trying to help but... we would like to see how we cope on our own without help. If we need anything we promise we will ask for your help." My thoughts on the matter is this. If they think that they have done a good enough job of raising you then they will let you be.
Maybe when you are settled in have both sets of parents around for a meal. If they can see you really can cope maybe they will back off.
Some parents actually get a separation anxiety so please try and understand their side too. xxx GOOD LUCK LOL
Aww you're growing up lol. Yeah parents always want in your business once you've moved out because they now realize that you are not going to talk to them near as much or see them near as much. I pretty much just blew my parents off and told them I couldn't afford the cell phone bill and just changed my number. For sensible advice I'd tell your parents the truth and kind of blow it out of proportion a little so you sound like you can't handle it so maybe they will lay off some.
With your boyfriend I would just go out to a couple nights on the town to get away from reality for a whole minute. I mean you are both on your own now and can do whatever so make it feel like you are out.
I had a similar problem. The best thing to do is talk to them straight up about how you feel. If that will offend them, then ween them off. You and Dylan set some distinct boundaries (ex: we will talk on the phone once every other day and visit face to face once a week) and stick to them. If they call more than you want to talk, don't answer or let them know you are busy and you will call them back later. If they just show up, don't answer the door. If they question you about it, tell your mom you were having sex. I doubt she'll want the details. They will get the point after a week or two. Good luck.
I know they are driving you crazy but the are just excited for you. Give it a little longer and they will stop showing up all the time. If not set some rules. They must call before they show up. That way if you dont want to see them just tell them you are not home... lol. Dont worry it will all be over soon. Good Luck!
thanks a lot for the advice everyone (:
just dont answer the phone.