Control Panel>System and Security>Flash Player (or Java whichever shows up on yours)>Advanced settings and then check off "never check for updates".
However, I read that this might not work due to the Control Panel needing admin privileges to save the setting change.
So, if the first doesn't work and it keeps checking back to "auto-check for updates" try:
-Find the file javapl.exe
-- Should be somewhere like this or similar
-- C:\Program Files\Java\jre6\bin\javacpl.exe
-- (I found mine under: C:\Program Files (x86)\Adobe\Adobe Flash Builder 4.6\jre\bin)
-Right-click> run as Admin > Update
-uncheck "check for updates automatically" > apply > ok
Alternatively, you could try going into your "start" menu
-type in: msconfig
-go to startup
-uncheck anything that says adobe or flash updater
(Mine was the "Adobe Updater Startup Utility")
Wow thank you! (you're so smart) I shall try it because it drives me nuts and I don't trust it, so I've just been clicking it away. How I hate the bells and whistles on everything. I just want what I need to work and the hell with everything else. :)