I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. The sex was only consistent the first month of our relationship. He is a great guy and I love him. Our relationship has had it's ups and downs in other aspects. Now it seems like only if I say something about us not having sex or messing around we don't do anything. Then when he does make a move after we have fought about it I feel like he doesn't really want it he is just doing it to get me off his back. He tells me that I can initiate it too but he always says he is tired and doesn't feel good. After he says stuff like that I would feel bad for initiating it. I feel like I get rejected before I have even made a move. We went on a vacation for six nights and didn't have sex or mess around once. I have encouraged him to see a doctor and he hasn't. I am to the point where I told him I am scared that this will lead to cheating or us breaking up and I don't want that. I don't know what to do. I love him.
If your significant other is unwilling to work on the problem, be it a medical issue, or something going on in the relationship on either of your parts, despite you having tried to discuss your concerns with him, especially if he only gets intimate with you after these discussions but makes you feel guily about it, than it is highly unlikely that his behavior will change. And because this is causing a rift in your relationship and he doesn't seem to care about that, it is a likely possibility that the two of you will not be able to fix this and that the relationship will not go back to that blissful first month. You say that this could lead to cheating, well this might already be happening. Or it might be just down the road for you or him. My advice would be to have a final discussion with him and tell him that if he can't fix his issues, or tell you what his issues with you are, than there really is little point in continuing the relationship. I dont mean to say that intimacy is the only reason to be or not be with someone but it constitutes a big part of a relationship, no matter what level the intimacy is. If he is unwilling to work out this problem, what other problems will he not care about fixing in the future? Or what ones is he ignoring now? You dont deserve to feel guilty, and he shouldn't feel pressured. "Love" can not sustain a relationship alone. Good luck
Ask him whats going on with him, and how he feels? Ask him about his sex drive, and why its in the park mode. Communicating is absolutely the only way to find out how to help him. Is he depressed or completely stressed out? Is it someone else? All these questions point to the root of a problem. It may not be something to fix if theres nothing broken. Maybe a little motivation will help, but dont give up
hey I can relate, my sex life is slowly going down the drain & I don't understand what it is or what I've done? please read my question too. =)
Keep your b/f and find a secret lover. Each day you spend with this yearning for s*x is gone from your life.