Home More advice Art, Writing & Literature
Please take some time to give me some feedback on this poem!
You did not know I was looking, but I saw you there with her, Your hand was raised above your head, your motion was a blur. Then I heard her screams, and heard her silent cries, I wished that you could see me, and then I looked into your eyes. You were not my daddy, my daddy doesn’t hurt. He wouldn’t hit mommy so hard, she wouldn’t be so alert. You raise your arm to strike again, this time I come to save, You see me coming all too soon, I thought I could be brave. But then I feel the pain she felt over and over again, I see her crouching over me trying to defend. I am so scared, but for mommy I try to stay strong, I never thought all the bruises, all the blood could be so wrong. I feel my feet leave the floor, I see the room spinning round, I hope before I hit the wall, I will reach the ground. You won daddy, you did it, I lie here all alone, Mommy runs out the door, you grimace at the unknown. The lights are fading black, daddy, You don’t say goodbye, It’s over all too soon daddy, before you know I die.
THAT IS VERY TOUCHING YOUR WORDS HAVE A VERY STRONG IMPACT ITS SAD THAT PAIN IS YOUR MOTIVTION BUT KEEP WRITING AND GET SOME HELP CALL 211 AND REPORT HIS HAS IF ITS A TRUE SITUATION.I DONT KNOW IF YOU MADE THE POEM UP OR NOT BUT IT SOUNDS SO SINCERE.
Wow. I have a lump in my throat and am holding back the tears.
If this poem is based on your imagination, you have an incredible future awaiting you. If it's based on reality, please call Child Protective Services.
This is actually a poem about my friend, whose sister died from being abused by her father :( its not me. She is in a stable home now, and her father is in prison.
OMG WHAT ABOUT HER MOM SORRY NOT TRING TO BE NOSIE BUT YOU POEM WAS VERY TOUCHING I HAVE TO BE CONCERNED AFTER READING THAT.
OMG I LOVED your POEM IT WAS SO GOOD IT WAS SO SAD IT MADE ME want to CRY BUT I THINK you HAVE A FUTURE IN POETRY
Her mom ran away and no one knows where she went :(
your poem is kind of like mine!
