well, from someone that has been through that in life, where my parents both had to work & I was left with a baby sitter from age 3-4 then was on my own from age 5-15...kids feel abandoned...I dont care how you want to call it...for a good reason, or bcz it was just a necessity...When a child is at that age they are very vulnerable, and when they grow up whey DO remember how you left them sitting up in a chair with their hands on their lunch box waiting til you (their parents) got there to pick them up...and it felt to be treated differently bcz their family was having a good dinner while they fetched you a pj sandwich...and that can be traumatizing for a child which is why eventually I got to be the key on neck child from age 5-15! Dont get me wrong, I know you have to priorities & I am very sympathetic about having to pay bills & sometimes that means making sacrifices...but if you know you hv to make that ultimate sacrifice in the day where you do leave ur kid hanging there to fetch for its damn self, then at least make the damn effort to make it up to them when you get home, rather then rush to make dinner then send your kid to bed! What about weekends? SO you hv to work on Saturday as well...make time at least on Sunday...to just be there for that child rather then just boss your child around with orders on what chores they need to do...like vacuuming, helping you with the laundry, ironing & dishes not to mention non stop trips to damn grocery store bcz your too damn insensitive to make a list of things you need 1x all in one run, causing your child to be a f*n yo-yo in the process! So, you see, no quality time...no connection of parent child...more like a feeling of boss vs. worker. Then your kid wonders why you even bothered having them in the first place. At some point in time they just dont even feel like you care which is why they get angry & start demanding some sort of acknowledgment by acting out, just as long as you even remember that they are there or even exist. Others will just find comfort elsewhere at a friends house & just lash out when you seem to make them come home or interfere.
If you think your child at age 15 acts that way, ask yourself could I as their parent have caused them to feel this way..? Answer...can very well be the reason! At age 15, dont act like they are still that 5 year old you left behind trying to control them or their whereabouts then wonder why they rebel or lash out....
Remember, with kids, its what you give is what you receive... Be there for them & they will return the favor. Act like a boss to them & watch them walk away and not care about you or what you say...(Is it right, no...does it happen, yes!)
Best advice I can give, is make time...I dont care if it is 30 mins after work...take the time, ask the questions, not just "Did you do your hw...?" Ask how their day was, if they had any trouble with the kids...if all their teachers were treating them ok...how their friends are...show them that you actually do care to listen! They want to feel a part of your world, so let them...allow them to know how crummy you feel your job is...and how you still go for their sake, so they can have the finer things in life...like that 200 dollar pair of their fav sneakers...or that awesome jersey they were wanting bcz all the kids at school hv them...or that awesome bag all the girls are walking around with...but allow them to be a part of your life as well as allowing you to be a part of their lives. Act as a mother/guardian first then like a boss around the house. Just show some love, nurture & sympathy. Hell have a heart!
You should keep in mind that you are the parent. There will be many decisions you will make for the good of yourself, your marriage, and your family that your kids won't like. If you decide that it is best for everyone involved than by all means stay home. I do meet people who I think are crazy to work. People with spouses who work and who pay most of what they make to child care so that someone else can raise their kids. They would be better off economizing a bit and staying home. I also know people who could not afford to stay home or could not do so without making huge sacrifices.
I wouldnt stay at home. Most kids want their parents around, so most kids are going to ask you to stay home. But my work is important to me. Even if I could afford to stay at home I wouldnt want to. I may cut back on my hours, but I dont plan on quitting. When I was younger both my parents worked out of the home. Bills had to be paid. I had a nanny. I was fine. When I was older both my parents worked from a home office. I actually think it might have been a little better if they werent around all day everyday.
It depends on the age of the child, how financially stable we are, etc. Hypothetically if my child was younger than school age i would opt to stay home with them if they asked and we could financially afford it because you never get those years back and being a stay at home mom, while its hard, its very rewarding. However, once they are old enough to be in school i see no point in being home all day and not working while they arent home. Sadly, most families dont even have that option due to finances.
I'd talk to my child and fiind out why. If they felt like we didn't have enough time together, I'd make time and tell my child that mommy needs to work to take care of bills and things. I'd let them know that I love them, and that we'll always have time for each other as long as they talk to me when something is going on.
Unfortunately you might have to sacrifice some time. But try your best to explain that too them, perhaps try 'The more time I stay away now the more time I can stay later.' As that is true, if you can get vacation later or eventually have enough money you won't have to work even if it is a short period of time.
When my son was a toddler he would cling to my leg and cry "mama don't go", everytime I went to work. It was heartbreaking. Sadly, bills have to be paid and sometimes we simply don't have a choice. If its possible, its great to stay at home with your children, sadly its just not always possible.
Nothing, I would explain to him how important a job is and how that would help us at some point he needs to understand. The kid Is very special, but there is a limit where the kids have controls and when they don't. Why would I do that when It can hurt my own kid?
That would have to happen to me for me to know what I would actually do.
Depending on what my spouse was up to career wise, maybe I'd stay home, maybe I wouldnt.
Well as much as I'd love to stay home and spend the day with my family, the bills do have to be paid.
try working from home