My fault or her's?

So just recently I got extremely upset over what my friend said to me.

I normally end up complaining to her about my binging disorder, which is where you eat tons of food and can’t help it. She apparently couldn’t take it anymore. She said to stop complaining, at least pretend that people have worse lives, and leave her alone!!

I understand I shouldn’t complain to her about so much. Last year she complained to me about her problems just as much, and I was actually HAPPY to help her out, no matter how annoying or difficult it was… I just wish she had told me when she BEGAN to get annoyed!!

Anyway, I spent the last HOUR crying over that. We’ve only been friends for only 1 1/2 years, but she made me feel like a total b*tch…

And it’s NOT true that I feel like I have the worst life around. I actually cry over the starving Africans, and the treatment of animal abuse and child abuse. Please don’t call me a wimp, but I actually have the tendency to feel bad for others. I don’t know why I feel THAT bad about it, but I do… Believe it or not, I care about others more than myself. I know that’s not healthy, but there’s no stopping me from doing that.

So please please please tell me what you think. I actually mostly agree with my friend… I really shouldn’t be putting so much on her… I just wish she had told me before she got so pissed at me!!

Answer #1

Its her fault =) Try talking to her nicely, though, maybe shes just in a bad mood

At the same time, you should know that binging is unhealthy

Answer #2

yeah she should have been nicer like its your fault any way… dont feel bad I know how you feel it just depends on characteristics and your being…

Answer #3

I think that its probably both yea some people like to help with others problems but some people dont

its weird maybe it annoys her people who get annoyed of stuff are usually the people who do it the most

ya its your disorder and everything but it still doesnt give you the right to complain about it, its kinda your fault for that disorder kinda but you can get help(im not saying that in a bad way)

but she should of told you before she gets all pissy and yells at you

Answer #4

I think it’s her fault, she should have told you when she started to dislike it. I pretty much had an exact same case but it wasn’t about binge disorders, and it was the other way around. People are different… that is one of many factors why you were happy to help her out in whereas she couldn’t as much as you did.

good luck with your friendship :3

Answer #5

If you eat tons of food and think you can’t help it, you can, somethings not right - I hope you’ll seek help from a professional and not be in denial…Take care !!

Answer #6

You’re right, she should have told you when she had enough, in a nicer way.

Answer #7

I know exactly what you mean when you say you care about others, maybe too much. I am the same way always listening to other people’s problems and never having anyone listen to yours. I don’t think this is really a right or wrong situation though, honestly both a little wrong both a little right. She probably should;ve told you it was annoying but she shouldnt have done it the way she did. and you prob shouldn’t have constantly been bringing it up. If this is something that ruins your friendship don’t dwell, wasn’t a good friendship in the first place if it can’t stand this. As far as you unloading on her just keep in mind whats important to you for me I love to be there for people and listen to all their sometime nonchalaunt stories but decide if you do or not. if you do it comes with the sacrafice of your friends being the able to turn to you and it becomes so much that they forget that you need help too. The only thing I do is usually write when I’m really upset and need to unwind. doesn’t have to be poetry or anything just kind of brainstorm you ideas or start a diary…little girlish yes but very productive from experience. Also talk about your problems with someone older and related. for me it’s my grandma, shes the only one who will listen to me b*tch for hours and still be listening so if im so upset that writing is not going to help I go take her to lunch or something and talk about everything. sometimes it’s not advice we’re looking for but a way to get a burden off you chest. Don’t always turn to her though because you’ll have so many repressed feeling adventually she might get annoyed with it too. hope this helps you out a little!!! PS I think it’s awesome you care about what the rebels are doing to those poor children in Africa! I fully plan to go over there and rebuild and orphanage one day so it’s not as easy for them to be kidnapping and brainwashing those children! :D keep your head up!!!

Answer #8

Maybe she had a bad day and snapped…

She’s your friend, who has complained about stuff to you before, dont feel bad about complaining to her. So what if there’s people who are doing worse off than you, that doesnt invalidate how you feel… Dont feel like a bad person… if she doesnt want you to talk to her about it, then you just wont, end of story (it may be a lot for her to deal with and you might have to take that into consideration). It isnt your fault she never told you how she felt before. She also might not feel as strongly as when she snapped. A lot of people say things in anger when they arent trying to be mean. Of course it’s not your fault you have a disorder…

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