I want to get back together with my first girlfriend.

Hi some background im 13 and un-popular at schhol. thats it now to my question I had a girlfriend once who I shared my first kiss with but after a month of dating since she was 3 years older then me nad im not that popular right in fornt of made out with my 2nd cousin! I was stunned, if there wasn’t any one else there I would of cried, I was heart broken, I broke it off soon after I felt bad enough making out with some oen else but my cousin and right in front of me! she said she was sorry I said proof it nothing so I left, now im regretting it note I was 8 and she was 11, both of us were having birthdays soon. she was going into puity I wasnt even close to it, she was going through all sorts of emotions plus just befor we broke up I had been in hospital for 3 weeks she came and visted me 2 times each week because her parents were working, we kissed a lot and stuff this was befor she was 12 a week after she turned 12 I got out it was a week before I could see her again because I wasn’t allowed out the house, when I did heart ache. now I realize how she felt (because im now going through it) and want to get together but unfortuna\tl I moved schools soon after the break up and now shes in grade hmm 10 or 11 10 I think, and next year 11 I will get to see her again, but since I havnt seen her in like 2 years now I don’t no what ill see, when I was 9 I was tller by a inch now I think sheell be taller by a head. please ad vise me what should I do I cant stoping thinking about her and I cant wait till next year but I know im going to be dis apointed also soz for long writing